Thursday, September 8, 2011

Who's a good dog?

I was all set to write a post called, "I believe the decomp is my future" set to the tune of Whitney Houston's hit "Greatest Love of All", but then events transpired which made that title Null and Void.

It all started when I saw our cat Stanley peering underneath the piano in a very determined way. There are only two things which will get Stan moving: mice and barking dogs. Since the dogs are too big to hide underneath the piano, I strongly suspected a rodent. I pulled the piano away from the wall to reveal a very cute and plump mouse.

"Go get him, Stan!", I yelled. Stan looked at me confusedly. The mouse, clearly a student of Sun Tsu, took advantage of the distraction to scurry along the wall. I tried to grab him with a dish cloth, but he eluded my grasp and I lost him. This was the moment when I assumed that Stanley would later find him, kill him, and then leave him to rot and smell up the basement.

I started planning my blog post, humming the awful Whitney Houston song, and contemplating how many babies that mouse was likely to give birth to before Stan killed her.

Later this evening after performing many tedious adult tasks, I agreed to play Go Fish with Lily. Puglsey took his spot next to me, but Sophie was missing. It is not like her to miss the opportunity to sit on a deck of cards and wreck competitive havoc. I sent Lily downstairs to make sure that she wasn't on the porch eating her own feces.

That's when I heard Lily shout, "Sophie caught the mouse!"

And indeed Sophie did. The mouse looked well gummed, though not actually eaten. Sophie was praised extravagantly for her deed and will be given extra treats as a reward.

On the subject of the tedious adult tasks which I have been faithfully performing every day instead of killing zombies, watching crime shows, and reading detective novels, I must say that on the one hand, it's nice to stay on top of things and not allow the squalor to snowball into mayhem. On the other hand, it's so freaking boring. Scooping cat poop every day, breaking down the recycling, vacuuming, laundry, and so on. My god. I don't know how I can stand it.

If you are really lucky tomorrow I'll tell you all about my new pet hair elimination strategy, "No Hair Left Behind". I know, the thrills, they do not cease.


Cheryl said...

You're a genius. Weaving the horror of Whitney Houston, the possibility of rotting mouse corpse, and a havoc laden game of Go Fish all in one post. You are my hero. Ine.

Left-Handed Housewife said...

I like that your dog is named Stan. Stan is an excellent dog name. I hope Stan is short for Stanley; anything else would disappoint me greatly.


Shanna said...

Fine, I will go do tedious adult tasks. I am in a "let's do fun rearranging stuff" mood, but if everything is a mess it doesn't really matter how nice one corner looks. Now you made me crave pumpkin spice smelly things too!