Christmas? What Christmas?

I am about to be boastful, even though the nuns frowned upon such things and actively discouraged pride in all of its forms.

Today, not only did I walk my dogs a mile, I also ran for two miles and then I removed all evidence of Christmas from my home.

It took about four hours. I wish that I could say that I did a great job of putting everything away properly but that would be lying and while the nuns only frown upon boastfulness, they will get on the Jesus phone and send you straight to hell for lying.

The important thing to remember though is that my house now feels super clean and uncluttered and I love it. A fresh start for the new year.

I know that some folks like to go out on New Years Eve and engage in all sorts of tomfoolery. Unsurprisingly I prefer to stay home, though I must confess that I attended a small New Years Eve party, which very happily ended at the sensible hour of 8pm. Now I am home, in my old lady nightgown with my ailing husband and snoring dogs. My perfect evening.

Happy New Year everyone, I hope the new year brings you good junk, love and laughter!

Fun makes me cranky...

I cannot take one more day of merrymaking.

Today we got back from the Berkshires and not a moment too soon. We had a great time and the kids loved playing with their cousins but I am so happy to be home in my own bed with my happy dogs snoring by my side.

David has been sick the last few days. Is my husband the only man that needs to be reminded to take Motrin when he is sick? He'll tell me all about how awful he feels and I'll ask, "Did you take some Motrin?" and I swear to you each time it is a fresh concept. "No, I haven't. Do you have some? Can you get it for me?"

I think he's starting to feel better since he was just asking me all kinds of questions. "Who are the Kardashian's? How did they get rich? Why do they have their own show?"

Why he thinks I have these answers is a mystery. I sent him off to google, the answer to all of life's questions.

So anyway, now I am home and Christmas must be dealt with. I determined to put everything away in a calm and organized fashion. I will not get bored and start throwing things in boxes because I cannot stand the tedium of putting it away. Probably.

I am spending some time thinking about my goals for the year, the things I want to change and accomplish. Exercise and flossing are both at the top of my list.

I am already into my new life as an athlete so flossing should be a piece of cake. Though for some reason remembering to floss daily seems harder to me than jogging two miles.

For now though I will be working very hard on being home and snuggling with my dogs.

I'll start flossing tomorrow.

I'm here!

Hello my dear sweet bloglets!

I have not completely disappeared, I've just been sucked into the holiday vortex. We spent the weekend on the Cape visiting family and are headed out again tomorrow for a quick visit to the Berkshires. All great fun, but I do look forward to being home again so that I can dismantle Christmas. All of the decorations which felt so festive before now feel like clutter.

Of course before I take down all of Christmas I need to make a path in the basement so that I can put it away.

I don't even want to think about the basement.

Today I am thinking about some dear family and friends who have gone above and beyond lately. You know who you are. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

5:30 am...

That was the time that the children woke up and decided that sleep was for chumps.

By 6:00 I stopped pretending that I was asleep and we woke up David.

Christmas had begun!



Santa left some of his cookie.


Lily's gifts all have green bows.


Rebecca's have red bows.


The stockings were full!


Rebecca likes to empty her stocking slowly, savoring each item. (Notice the handsome cinematographer in the background.)



Lily likes to dump hers on the floor.


My mom sent the girls some of their favorite gifts. Handmade American Girl clothes, including matching jammies for the girls and their dolls.



The girls love them! The craftsmanship is gorgeous.


Check out this coat. My mom used a scarf to make it.



These princess gowns have matching gloves and are fully lined! Amazing!

Remember those fairy dolls that the girls were hoping that Santa would bring?



Here they are! They are so lovely.

This gift from David was my favorite!


We had a perfectly lovely day. The kids played, David napped and I puttered. It was a day of jammies and snuggles and comfort.

I hope that Christmas brought peace and joy to all who celebrate and a day of movies and Chinese food to those who don't.

Merry Christmas and let's bring on 2010!

Enough...

There is so much that I cannot write here. Things about the economy, running a small business and heartbreak.

We are all healthy. Our family is strong.

That is all.

That will have to be enough.

Proof of freakishness...

Today I was thinking about how cute it would be to put all of the gifts that my mom sent us in that old Radio Flyer wagon that I junked this summer. I could just picture it next to the tree. So precious.

It was outside filled with ice, so I went out and spent about ten minutes knocking the ice and dead leaves out of it. Then I dragged it into the house and put it in front of the heater so that the rest of the ice would melt.

Once the ice had melted into dirty puddles on the kitchen floor I wiped it down and placed one of the plaid blankets that I junked this fall into it. Then I methodically placed all of the gifts into the wagon.

I stepped back.

Hmmm. Looks a bit crowded. I'll just slide the tree over a bit.

Hmmm. Still looks kind of weird. I'll try it on the other side of the tree.

Hmmm. This is not working.

I took the wagon back outside and came in the house, carefully avoiding the puddles of dirty water still on the kitchen floor.

Next I went down to the very scary basement and rummaged through my collection of 472 decorative baskets and crates and found a few to bring upstairs.

Once again I placed gifts just so and stepped back.

Hmmm. Better...but not quite right.

Then inspiration! A three foot plant tier would be perfect.

I dragged it over and placed the gifts in it and stepped back.

Ahhhhh. Just right.

And it only took me one hour and a completely disgusting kitchen floor to achieve.

Eat your heart out Martha!

Blog bellies!

It snowed big around here and I didn't take a single picture.

That's unlike me isn't it?

The reason I didn't take any pictures is because I had to do all of the shoveling and snow blowing while David was in New York for business.

Not only did I do all the shoveling and snow blowing, I also had to put more gas in the snowblower and play car tetris so that I could get all of the driveway reasonably clean.

Since I am too tired to write a cohesive narrative I will fill your blog bellies with some odds and ends.

I am still exercising and have lost six pounds. Pure craziness. Don't worry though- there is still chocolate in my life.

I've been doing a little junking this week. Check out the goods!



Love this vintage Santa candle holder!



This ceramic bowl is huge!



Red and white platter. What's not to love?

I should also let you know that I have a new love in my life.

Brussel sprouts. I have been preparing them with the following recipe and people, it is so stinking good. I can't get enough of them.

Pan roasted brussel sprouts with garlic and balsamic

Ingredients:

whole mess of brussel sprouts, slice off bottom, then slice in half
4 tbsp olive oil
8 cloves of garlic, chopped
balsamic vinegar
salt and pepper

Instructions:

Heat oven to 350 degrees.
Heat olive oil on stove in oven safe skillet until it shimmers.
Add brussel sprouts cut side down.
Add garlic.
Saute until bottoms are brown.
Sprinkle with salt and pepper.
Toss sprouts so that they are coated with olive oil.
Put skillet in oven for about 30 minutes.
Take out once skins have caramelized and are browned.
Drizzle with balsamic vinegar to taste.

Gobble up and don't share with anyone.

That's it for today folks.

Not bad for something I just now threw together.

I probably deserve some chocolate just for posting....

Practical magic...

Today we went to see the real Santa.

I know that some folks will only go to a Santa who looks real. In late October they dress their children in their Christmas outfits and march them to the mall like little soldiers to get the perfect picture of their children with the perfect Santa so that they can use this photo as their Christmas card.

It bothers me a bit.

I do not believe in Santa as a prop for a photo opportunity.

I probably just lost twenty-five readers with that statement.

Sometimes you've got to be edgy and just tell the truth.

When Rebecca was a toddler I took her to a perfect Santa. Sure he looked perfect, but he did not have the soul of Santa. He didn't ask questions. He just smiled for the camera and handed her a candy cane.

There was no magic and if there in no magic then there is no Christmas.

For a number of years we didn't really bother with visiting Santa. Then we wandered into Seasons Four in Lexington about five years ago.

Santa is there on the weekends. He sits in a little pavilion and the children visit him. There is no charge for a picture, there is no photographer for that matter. There is no fee to visit with Santa or to take a picture with him, though he accepts donations to the local food pantry. Mostly he just sits and chats with the kids.

Rebecca and Lily were very excited to see him. Lily wanted to wear a pretty dress and fluffy coat. I think she was trying to distract him from some of her naughtier moments this year.

Once the girls were settled in next to him he asked them if they were still living in the same house or if he needed to change the address on his list. He wanted to know if we had dogs so that he could be sure to bring dog treats for them. What town do we live in, he wanted to know and then told us the exact time that it would be sunrise on Christmas and warned the girls not to peek until then. He told them all about the elves who take care of the reindeer and what sorts of snacks they prefer. He told us that the power at the north pole used to be generated from all of the coal that was used for the eyes and buttons of snowmen, but that now they use wind power since it's always so windy.

This is why we love the real Santa.

It's all the details, the small and important logistical details that cast a Christmas spell over my girls who are both hard core believers.



We are now in the last days before Christmas. They are tucked in bed and should be sleeping but keep peeking out the window to see if the snowstorm has hit yet.

They are all hope and magic, unmarred by cynicism. If I have done nothing else right, I know that I have given them this gift, this ability to immerse oneself in a dream and believe in the glittery possibility of tomorrow.

Let it snow!

What happened to Tommy Decker and Exhibits B and C...

So many of you wondered what became of Tommy Decker.

Since I couldn't find him on Facebook I can only assume that he is in jail.

Trust me people, he did not love me. He was awful.

Sullygirl wanted to know if the slapping incident occurred before or after the Cabbage Patch Kid doll incident.

Oh Sullygirl, the memories you stir. If any of you were alive in 1983 you remember that Cabbage Patch Kids were the doll to have. I had about twelve. Don't judge me.

Anyway, one of my favorites was a little bald boy doll and I brought him to school. I think it was seventh grade, but I could be wrong, it might have been eighth grade.

Bringing him to school was a dumb idea because there is nothing like a highly collectible and sought after baby doll to trigger the "must break" gene in twelve year old boys.

Chuck was a boy in our class who had stayed back at least sixteen times. He was huge. His voice had changed and he was menacing. He probably had his own apartment and drove a Buick. I steered clear of him whenever possible, but in a class with only fourteen kids this was not always possible.

The day I brought in my doll I might as well as put a bulls eye on him because Chuck immediately gravitated towards it, grabbed it by its feet and slammed its face against the black board.

His poor little plastic face had black board skid marks and a permanent dent.

Of course there were no nuns around to witness it and punish him appropriately.

Catholic school broke my baby.

I was chatting with my mom on the phone tonight about good old Queen of Peace. This conversation triggered a memory of the music teacher. Well, at least he was the music teacher until it was discovered that he worshiped Satan. This teacher also explained to my brother's third grade class that boys were castrated so that their voices wouldn't change and they could sing choir. My brother came home in tears terrified for his little manhood.

Catholic school and the Cabbage Patch doll. Catholic School and the Satan Worshiper.

Let's just call these Exhibits B and C.

The tale of Sister Anne or Yet another reason I will burn in hell...

Click on people's faces in the photo to tag them.

When my family moved to Northern New Jersey in 1980 we joined Saint Joseph's parish and were enrolled in the catholic school attached to the church. My brother and I attended this school for a few years and then for reasons that I don't completely understand, my parents transferred us into the catholic school on the other side of town, Our Lady Queen of Peace.

Sixth grade in Queen of Peace started out great, largely because our teacher was a 157 year old nun who only taught us two subjects: spelling and saying the rosary. I don't think that she ever taught math, history, geography or anything else for that matter.

I did not complain. I started to imagine that perhaps I too would become a nun. No math, just a bunch of praying. Not a bad life.

One day I was working in my spelling book when Tommy Decker hit me over the head with his spelling book.

I had not been taught how to tell someone to go to hell, so instead I did the only thing a sixth grade catholic school girl could do.

I tattled.

"Sister Anne! Tommy Decker hit me on the head with his spelling book!"

Sister Anne did not tolerate anyone defiling spelling. "Tell him to stop it and let me know if he does it again." she commanded.

Back to my seat I obediently trotted. Once I was settled and working...

Whap!

He did it again!

Back to Sister Anne I went.

"Sister Anne! Tommy Decker hit me on the head again!" I cried.

Sister Anne marched her plump habited form over to Tommy Decker, grabbed him by the hair and proceeded to drag him to the front of the class.

She then called me to the front of the class as well.

This made me nervous, because clearly Sister Anne was deviating from the script. Tommy Decker should have been sent down to our principal, Sister Michael's office where he would have been yelled at and given detention.

Sister Anne let go of Tommy Decker's hair and turned to me.

"Hit him back!" she demanded.

Reader, I ask you, what was I to do? Defy the nun and go to hell, or slap Tommy Decker who had done nothing but bother me for weeks?

I pulled my arm back, extended my hand and slapped his face with all of my might.

I don't remember a single detail more about this incident until the phone call from Sister Michael that night. A phone call from the principal is never a good thing. She spoke with my mom a bit and then asked to speak with me.

"You are not in trouble," she began, "but can you tell me what happened today?"

I gave her my story, she thanked me and hung up.

I did my spelling, prayed my rosary and went to bed.

The next day at school we had a substitute teacher. Word quickly spread. Sister Anne was gone, she had been sent away to where ever bad nuns go and was replaced by a nice stable lay teacher.

We had to do math which I did not like, but she did read us C.S. Lewis's The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe every afternoon which was complete and utter heaven.

Sometimes people wonder why I'm no longer catholic. I like to think of this as Exhibit A.

Disaster strikes!

There were so many possible topics about which to blog tonight.

I could tell you about the cool Christmas junk I found today. I could tell you about going to the zoo at night to see lights and reindeer. There's also the time I got Sister Anne fired from Queen of Peace school.

Sadly instead I must tell you that I managed a truly amazing feat.

I fell up the stairs.

I fell up the stairs and smashed my head on the corner of the DVD cabinet and spilled a beautiful salad all over the floor.

I have no idea what I fell on. Usually it's the dogs who are trying to kill me on the stairs, but tonight they were upstairs asleep when I crashed headlong into the furniture.

After falling I tried to salvage my salad and it was while I was picking bits of lettuce off the floor that I noticed that my head was wet.

I reached up to brush it away and realized that my hand was covered in blood.

A head wound!

Blood!

Christmas will have to go on without me!

I called David who was working in his office.

"I have split my head open and am bleeding. I may need stitches. The presents are in the basement!"

In he dashed to evaluate my wound.

Luckily, not only will I live, I will not need stitches.

The bleeding stopped.

Christmas is saved.

For now...

Ready for disaster...

I have an announcement to make.

I have finished wrapping all the Christmas gifts that need to be wrapped and I am sending my mom's package out in the mail tomorrow.

I have decided to forgo Christmas cards because now that I have this blog I can just "Merry Christmas!" "Happy Hanukkah!" and "Happy New Year!" from here.

Our Christmas menu has been decided upon, all that is needed is one grocery shop. Easy peasey.

I am done! Ready! Prepared! Ten days before Christmas!

I am not being boastful.

The nuns did not teach me to be boastful. I am merely thanking the universe for not striking me down with any vicious flu's or ailments before I had everything in place.

The fate of Christmas depends upon me tending to all of the little details and one flu bug, one disaster can blow it.

Now I can rest easy knowing that even if I get hit by a bus tomorrow, my babies will still have Christmas.

Except that David doesn't know where I hid everything...

Maybe I should write down instructions. Where everything is, what Santa likes to eat, what to leave for the reindeer... Sort of like a Christmas Last Will and Testament!

What if I get sick before passing on this critical information? Christmas will be ruined!

I have to go...

I have a list to make!

The Nutcracker!

This weekend was all Nutcracker all the time.

The dance studio where Rebecca and Lily dance performs the Nutcracker and both kids danced in it this weekend.

Friday night found us at the dress rehearsal.

Saturday night was the first performance of the Nutcracker. I love attending the Saturday night performance because it's a little like being on a date with David. I get all dressed up and then we watch our girls dance.

I adore watching all of the girls dance. The youngest dancers are four years old.

Do you have any idea how cute a bunch of four year old girls dressed as fairies are? I almost died from the cute.

The oldest dancers are seventeen. It is extraordinary to see the complete transformation of dancers. The youngest are led on stage and through their dances. As the older girls appear on stage you can see them becoming more focused and steady in their steps. By thirteen and fourteen they can dance and smile at the same time. Their movements are more confident.

The sixteen and seventeen year old's bring down the house. Some rise high en pointe. They smile and dance with a grace which appears effortless, yet every audience member knows that to stand on one's toes, to leap from ten short digits is the product of work, pain and dedication.

When the older girls dance onstage in solos, they are cheered from backstage by their friends.

Those whoops and shrieks of joy for each other bring me to tears each and every time.

It is a thrill to witness it.

I know that Christine, the owner of the dance studio reads this blog.

The rest of you should know that the reason her studio is so special is because of the culture she cultivates.

There are no demands that dancers be thin or plan on becoming professionals. She wants the children to love to dance and to love the people with whom they dance. She knows every dancer at her studio by name and at the end of the year everyone gets a medal.

Mothers sometimes tell me about what goes on at other studios. Dancing is work, form must be perfect; it can be a grim business.

I am so so grateful that my girls are part of such a great place, and look forward to moving their bodies, each year with a little more grace and a bit more confidence than the year before.

Thank you Christine and Lauren (Nutcracker in the picture and dance instructor) for loving my girls so much and for making sure that each year they keep on dancing.

Miracles...

Tonight is the first night of Hanukkah.

When David and I were first dating I asked him, "So does your family do anything special for Hanukkah?"

The answer was no, which sort of baffled me. Isn't Hanukkah some sort of Jewish Christmas?

It turns out that religiously it's not a major holiday, except to retailers who want folks to think otherwise.

The big Jewish holidays are Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashanah and Passover.

Unlike Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashanah and Passover, Hanukkah is a holiday which is not from the Torah. It is the commemoration of a post biblical event, namely the victory of the Maccabees over the Greek rulers of Jerusalem and the rededication of the Temple in 164 BCE. It also celebrates a miracle that took place during this event. When the temple was rededicated, God miraculously made one day's worth of oil last for eight days.

There you have it. A small but crucial miracle. No virgin births and no reindeer.

In spite of it's lack of Santa, I love Hanukkah. I love the candle light and I love our family menorah. We have a few, but this menorah is our favorite. It was given to us by my dear stepmom the very first winter that David and I were together.



You can't tell because this picture is well, imperfect, but the Hebrew letters of this menorah spell Shalom.

Guess why the kids love Hanukkah?



Eights nights of gifts! We tend to keep the Hanukkah gifts small and fun- sort of like Hanukkah itself.

I have to conclude this post by telling you the other excitement of the day. Pugsley and Sophie ate an entire bag of organic (!) sunflower seeds and have spent the last three hours throwing up sunflower seeds and then trying to eat each others vomit.

This was not the excitement I was hoping for.

I am now an athlete.

I have now exercised for four days in a row.

I am expecting offers for product endorsement any day now.

I have lost two pounds! Wii fit is so proud of me and I am embarrassed to admit how much this approval means to me.

One of the few things that I enjoy about exercising is how virtuous it makes me feel. The fact that the laundry is all caught up and the house is clean makes me downright saintly.

Hmmm. How should I reward myself for such noble efforts?

Junk! Tomorrow is junk day and I cannot wait!

Just a heads up- this is going to be one of those "boring housewife nonsense" posts. You could safely stop here and not miss much.

Did you notice that I changed my banner?

Go ahead and refresh, I'll wait.

Isn't it lovely? I will not tell you how long it took me to do it, but I'm pretty sure that my Grammy could have figured it out more quickly than I did.

Anyway, as indicated by my banner, this is the time of year when I become obsessed with the ten day weather forecast searching for this:


Snow
32°F

I really love a blizzard, but will settle for snow showers if I must. As the ten day forecast gets closer to Christmas I watch and pray for a snowy white Christmas.

Guess what else I did today? I bought 19 items in the 12 items or fewer lane.

I am even boring me.

Please god, let something even remotely interesting happen tomorrow.

If you made it this far you should get an award.

Why are you still reading this? It's awful! Go read a book and have a cup of tea.

I'm going to go try to pretend that this post never happened.

Housewife Nirvana

Firstly, let me say how much I love your comments!

Pom Pom, Lisa, Cheryl, Ginger, Michael, Amy, Ms. Twinkle Toes, Mari, Claudette, Julie and even crusty old TJIC- you are all such generous readers. Your comments thrill me. I don't write back as often as I should, but please know that you are why I keep writing.

Secondly, brace yourselves. I have now exercised for three days in a row. I am up to fifteen minutes. I also ate a salad for dinner. The next thing you know I 'll be telling you that math is fun.

Thirdly, I thought I would give you a little homeschooling update. It's going so very well. I have no idea why I waited so long.

Rebecca hasn't been this happy in years. She loves writing and I love being able to give her the time and freedom to write. Being able to spend six weeks on multi-digit multiplication instead of two has been very helpful as well. We do not move on to a new concept until she has mastered the old.

Lily, it turns out, loves math. She really is the strangest child I have ever met. She is always looking for patterns and relationships in numbers.

Another benefit of homeschooling is that we could spend a few hours in the middle of the day decorating gingerbread houses.

I have to confess something to you right up front.

I used a glue gun to put them together. I have a strong childhood memory of watching my mother attempt to put a gingerbread house together using frosting. I learned many swear words from her that day as her house kept collapsing.

That is why I used my glue gun. Duct tape would have been all wrong for this project.

After putting the houses (store bought) together, they looked like this.



Rebecca chose to do a big one.



Lily chose a teeny tiny village and was kind enough to let me decorate two of her houses.

There was candy involved in this project.


See those Necco wafers? Completely disgusting. Great for roof shingles though.

My approach to gingerbread house decorating is to keep it simple.





I have to brag about this snowman a little bit.



Isn't he cute?

Rebecca and Lily go for broke when decorating their houses.

I love how Rebecca used candy to create shutters and flowers.


It's so cheery!

Lily added a deck to hers.


The girls collaborated on this one. It includes an ewok bridge and an ewok holding a sling shot.


It was a perfect afternoon. The children were cheerful and polite. There were no wedgies, nor were there any burping contests. There wasn't any whining.

Housewife nirvana.

Dust...

Notice the dust bunny sitting on the shoelace of my sneaker? That's how long it has been since I put them on.

I have no idea what got into me today but I decided to exercise.

I tried to fire up the Wii Fit without the children noticing but as soon as they heard, "Measuring!" in that voice that manages to be both robotic and judgmental, they hurried down the stairs to see their mother run in place.

They wanted to chat with me while I was doing my workout. I kept having to shush them as I was working too hard on not having a coronary to engage in conversation.

I exercised for ten minutes. It sounds pathetic, I know and quite frankly it is, but it's all I can do for now.

Lily and I went to the playground after school today so that she could play with her friends.

It gave me the opportunity to spend time with my skinny friends. It's true! There are a group of about five mothers who are hard core exercisers. They get up at 5:30 am for boot camp.

They can actually wear skinny jeans tucked into boots.

I suspect that they are probably also hungry.

I think that they like to live a vicarious full-figured life through me, a life where chocolate is a major food group and cupcakes are a staple. When I told them that I had begun to exercise they were concerned that perhaps I had lost my mind.

"Don't go to the dark side!" one said.

"The next thing you know you'll give up junking!" said another.

At that I grabbed her shoulders and said, "If I ever tell you that I am quitting junking I want you to stage an intervention! As god is my witness, I will junk forever!"

Exercises come and go, but good junk is forever.

Snow!

I love winter.

The cold, the snow, the way the light is so much brighter.

Last night we had our first real snow fall. Only about four inches, but it is heavy wet snow so it coated everything in white elegance.











Guess what?

As of today I am all done with all holiday shopping. The Hanukkah gifts are even wrapped and labeled.

I rock a little bit apparently.

Yesterday we decorated the tree which was very lovely, right until the moment that the girls started giving each other wedgies.

Just another typical day here at Shiny Red Houses.

Christmas junk!

Since today was Friday the girls and I went to Urban Renewals to see what treasures we could unearth.

I have not been finding much really good stuff lately, but I did find a few things that I loved.

In the Christmas section I found two huge bags of ornaments. Usually I don't bother even looking through the Christmas stuff because I have plenty of decorations.

However, there was something in these bags that caught my eye.



Vintage ornaments!







Each bag was .99 and contained a whole bunch of handmade ornaments which I completely fell in love with.









I also found this granny blanket.


Usually these are made out of itchy acrylic, but this one is wonderful. I think that it's real cotton and wool. It needed a bit of mending and when I had it on my lap to mend it it was so warm and wonderful.



It was 4.99.

We may get snow on Sunday.

I see a day involving hot cocoa, a good book and this blanket in my future while David and the kids play in the snow.

December dreamin'...