October. Dear sweet October. He used to be my favorite month you know. I pined for him all year long, waiting for his cool smoky breezes to blow through my hair, for his leaves to crunch seductively under my shoes. This year October has been the guy at the high school reunion that you couldn't wait to see again after all those years only to find out he's a twice divorced insurance agent with a comb-over. Where there should be sun, this version of October is rain- whiny, miserable rain.
I blame the rain and overall dreariness on my memory lapse today. This afternoon Lily has dance for three hours and Rebecca has Hebrew school for two, so I had planned on running a bunch of errands. However, it was so rainy out that I decided to stay home and paint gnomes for an upcoming craft fair. I blissfully painted gnomes and fairy mushrooms for two hours before I remembered that Rebecca was supposed to be at Hebrew School and not in her room doing a puzzle.
It's fitting that I chose this pathetic excuse for October to start running again. This time I am actually running outside. In public. In sneakers and everything. I told a friend who loves to run that I had started running and she said, "Isn't it awesome?!"
No. It is actually not awesome at all, but merely a necessary activity which must be done to avoid the inevitable weight creep which has accompanied my late thirties.
Our moving plans are continuing. I stalk craigslist and realtor sites looking for the perfect house. I always try to imagine them in some perfect fictional autumn- an autumn in which October lives up to its potential and arrives on my doorstep with a pumpkin spice latte and the leaf-blown-fall-addition of Country Living.
In fact, so much of this move feels like fiction. Getting the house ready occupied so much of my attention, that once it was spoken for I felt exhausted, as if getting the house under agreement was the finish line, when in fact the race has barely begun. The days go on, slipping away. Amy and I chat nervously about a new life in which we are not constantly in each others orbit. Sigh. We have never needed October more than right now. If you see it, please send it our way.