My psyche, snow, and Target...

Those of you who are in New England, live on the east coast, or have any sort of exposure to the media are probably aware of our crazy Snowtober storm. Yes, that's right, we were treated to some heavy rain followed by even heavier snow and wind. This lead to the inevitable power outage. It was exciting to lay in bed Saturday night and listen to the branches and trees creaking and breaking. By morning my street looked like a it had been hit by a tornado. Power lines were down and trees were blown across the road.  We lost a huge limb out back, but it caused no damage.

We did lose power for about 12 hours. You know what I do when I lose power? I wander around Target for a few hours to stock up on batteries and flashlights and somehow end up with extra Halloween candy and some cute tops which needed a good home. It was the only way to comfort my battered psyche.

The 12 hours without power really stressed me out. I realized that the fatigue of managing the move and the reality of leaving my town (and most especially Amy) have me just barely keeping my head above water. Losing power and having the additional worries of staying warm and keeping the food from spoiling were more than I could manage.

Once the power came back on I felt such relief. It was so nice to return to my regular worries which felt like old, though annoying friends. A power outage on the other hand, is nothing but a thug.

Happily our town did not postpone Halloween and my children were able to collect plenty of candy for me to steal from them when they are not paying attention. Tramping around in the cold seems to have given everyone colds, so today I was back at Target to return the unopened extra bags of Halloween candy and the surplus lanterns so that I could purchase mucinex and tissues.

This my friends, is the thrill of middle age. What adventures will we have next?

The October that wasn't...

October. Dear sweet October. He used to be my favorite month you know. I pined for him all year long, waiting for his cool smoky breezes to blow through my hair, for his leaves to crunch seductively under my shoes. This year October has been the guy at the high school reunion that you couldn't wait to see again after all those years only to find out he's a twice divorced insurance agent with a comb-over. Where there should be sun, this version of October is rain- whiny, miserable rain.

I blame the rain and overall dreariness on my memory lapse today. This afternoon Lily has dance for three hours and Rebecca has Hebrew school for two, so I had planned on running a bunch of errands. However, it was so rainy out that I decided to stay home and paint gnomes for an upcoming craft fair. I blissfully painted gnomes and fairy mushrooms for two hours before I remembered that Rebecca was supposed to be at Hebrew School and not in her room doing a puzzle.

It's fitting that I chose this pathetic excuse for October to start running again. This time I am actually running outside. In public. In sneakers and everything. I told a friend who loves to run that I had started running and she said, "Isn't it awesome?!"

No. It is actually not awesome at all, but merely a necessary activity which must be done to avoid the inevitable weight creep which has accompanied my late thirties.

Our moving plans are continuing. I stalk craigslist and realtor sites looking for the perfect house. I always try to imagine them in some perfect fictional autumn- an autumn in which October lives up to its potential and arrives on my doorstep with a pumpkin spice latte and the leaf-blown-fall-addition of Country Living.

In fact, so much of this move feels like fiction. Getting the house ready occupied so much of my attention, that once it was spoken for I felt exhausted, as if getting the house under agreement was the finish line, when in fact the race has barely begun. The days go on, slipping away. Amy and I chat nervously about a new life in which we are not constantly in each others orbit.  Sigh. We have never needed October more than right now. If you see it, please send it our way.

Side effects...

When I started homeschooling Rebecca last week I knew that she would love having some time with me all to herself. We haven't spent this much time alone together since before Lily was born seven years ago. It's been wonderful, seriously, honestly and truly wonderful.

What I had not anticipated is how much I miss Lily while she is at school. When she comes home I scoop her up and hold her, sniffing her and snuggling. She's started asking more and more to start homeschooling and my only hesitation is that she is still having a lot of fun in school. The homework is easy and the teacher seems mellow. I'd love to wait, just a little longer, to give Rebecca a bit more time getting adjusted to her new routine.

But I miss Lily.

You know what she said to me yesterday?

"When you die and I am a grownup I am going to bury you in my backyard."

I mean seriously. How can you not love someone who is planning that far ahead for when you are gone?

In other news in which I gush with love for my children, Rebecca doesn't want to go to gym with her class at school tomorrow because she wants to take an extra long dog walk with me instead.

I am so blessed.

Oh my god. I almost forgot to tell you! David brought bagels home from New York City! To some of you this will mean nothing. Nada. Zilch. But those of you who know the difference between a New York Bagel and any bagel west of Philly and north of Hartford know what I am talking about. He brought carbohydrate heaven. I love that man.

One last thing. Today is the first day of October. October is my absolute favorite month of the year. The air is crisp. The leaves are changing. When Lily came in from playing this afternoon she was cold and she had the faint smell of leaves and wood smoke. I hope that wherever you are October brings you it rich delights.