Things I managed to accomplish today:
1. Emptied the dishwasher twice.
2. Brought the trash to the curb once.
3. Paid $62 for gas. I was chatting with the gas station attendant and we were reminiscing about when gas was about a dollar a gallon. It was cheaper than milk! Cheaper than eggs! Sigh. I am now that lady who rants about the price of gas. #Loser
This week my obsession with primates reached a level of simian stupendousness never before seen at Shiny Red Houses. We went to the zoo yesterday and spent four hours hanging out with the gorillas. Seriously, Kiki and her baby sat on one side of the glass and we sat on the other. She loves looking at diamond rings (who doesn't) and when I put my hand to the glass she leaned closer, eyeball to gem to examine it more closely. We sketched pictures of her and showed her our versions of her. She looked them over with a critical eye and then moved back to the ring. She cannot be blamed. The quality of our art is not all that high.
This week Lily has been wearing a variety of fake mustaches. She likes to travel incognito and the overall effect is amusing. She has been compared to Freddy Mercury, Elliot Spitzer and Teddy Roosevelt. Thoughts?
The snow has melted leaving behind piles of soggy dog poop in the backyard. If I were very rich I would pay someone to clean up dog poop and to come over my floss my teeth every night.
Speaking of things on which rich people squander their money, it is thanks to Charlie Sheen that I realized that my working knowledge of the metric system is abysmal. When Charlie referred to banging seven gram rocks I wondered, just how much is that? Is it a quarter cup of rocks? Or more like a tablespoon? My shame is vast. Charlie Sheen knows the metric system and I do not.
I remember in the seventies there was a push for the metric system. It was going to be the new big thing- even Big Bird talked about it. But then Reagan got involved and declared the metric system the math of communists. Either way, it looked like extra math, so I ignored it and here I am today, a grown woman made to look stupid by Charlie Sheen. That my friends, is not #winning.
