Sunday, December 12, 2010

The effects of rain in December when it should be snowing...

Well, here it is mid-December, a time year when a New England girl likes to look out of her window to gaze upon the beauty of snow falling gently from the sky.

When that snow defies the rules and falls out of the sky as rain, it casts a gloomy fog upon the residents of Shiny Red Houses and makes them very, very cross.

Why Rain in December is Bad:

1. Must take out dogs in the rain. Dogs do not like being out in the rain. Bad dog chooses to wait until she is inside and poop on the floor. Bad dog!

2. The rain causes each family members most annoying traits to be amplified. This creates the need to find ever more creative places to hide from them.

3. Most effective hiding place is the basement which is dark and gross. It is however, the hiding place for all of the leftover Halloween candy.

4. While hiding from hideously annoying family members in the basement it seems like a Very Good idea to sample leftover Halloween candy.

5. Must then both hide in the basement and attempt to do difficult math to calculate the caloric damage of eating twelve mini butterfingers.

6. Find yourself eating m&m's while realizing that caloric math is hard.

7. Go upstairs and decide to give Lily an impromptu hair cut. Regret this decision almost immediately. Assure her that it looks "spunky".

8. Eat more butterfingers.

9. Attempt to make some Christmas ornaments to give as gifts. Upon viewing the ornaments, pray that friends and family are kindhearted or at the very least possessed of poor eye sight.

10. Take soothing bath with youngest child. Have youngest child ask, "Mommy, are your boobs going to keep getting droopier? I am a curious child and want to know."

11. Get out of tub and check weather report. More rain.

12. Huddle under pugs and wait for snow.


Cheryl said...

Don't forget the wind. The droopier the boobs, the more one must hide them from wind. It's a freakin nor'easter up here.

Rick and I are now communicating on FB. It's safer.

Julie said...

I do hope it snows for just aren't yourself. One of my favorite cartoons is the lady asking if she can get a discount for only buying the bottom half of the bathing suit...hence her boobs are drooping enough to fit everything in the bottoms.'re aren't even near the age for that.

Tracy said...

Childbearing and gravity...womankind's two worst enemies when it comes to body image.

We never get snow where I live. Which is OK by me. But the rain. The southern areas of Australia have now come out of drought...with grey skies and rain for months on end. I can't tell you how excited I was when the sun came out again!

Pom Pom said...

Poor pugs! We aren't getting any snow either. Maybe THAT'S why I'm crabby.

Left-Handed Housewife said...

We here in NC, on the other hand, are getting snow. And we can't deal with it! Make it go away!


Gumbo Lily said...

Rain in December sounds bad! We are getting light snow, perfectly fluffy, feathery stuff and not too much and no wind. I'll try to send some over from Montana! The thing is, it's cold. Just 12* for a high today.