A recap of the last 120 hours:
1. Leave on Friday with the kids for the cape. David was to meet us there Saturday but instead...
2. David gets a stomach virus! David spends many hours barfing. We tell him not to try to come to the cape. He weeps in gratitude.
3. Lily spends Saturday and Sunday on my Dad's couch coughing, sneezing and blowing. Rebecca spends Saturday and Sunday worrying that she will get David's bug or Lily's cold.
4. Get home Monday morning. See wet cat footprints all over the house. Go to the basement where I find...
5. Water all over the floor! Assume that the water is from all of the rain we've been having. Start running dehumidifiers and curse my basement.
6. Several hours later hear David say, "Hey! There's no hot water!"
7. Feel a cold wave of horror as I realize where the water is coming from.
8. Confirm leaky water heater.
9. Swear loudly.
10. Call plumber at 6:30pm. Leave message.
11. Spend an hour heating pots of water on the stove and bringing them upstairs so that I can have a bath. Twelve trips up the stairs with scalding water and I have my tub. As god is my witness, I will not got to bed without my tub!
12. Go to bed. Listen to Lily cough.
13. 7:22 am the phone rings. It's the plumber. "Did I call too early?" I try to fake it, "Nope! I've been up for hours!"
14. Good news! The tank is still under warranty! Bad news- I have fifteen minutes to get dressed before the plumber gets here.
15. Plumber sends over new young plumbers. They look sixteen. I contemplate my own age. Realize I have become old.
16. Plumbers install new tank. Joy!
17. Load the dishwasher, set it to run and sit down in the next room with a cup of coffee and try to ignore the wet footprints, cat hair and dirty laundry all over the floor.
18. Hmmmmm. Dishwasher sounds much louder than usual.
19. Go into kitchen to witness a tsunami of dirty dishwasher water cascading across the floor.
20. Swear very, very loudly.
21. Call the plumber. Again. He insists the water heater would have nothing to do with the dishwasher problem.
22. Plumber boys return. They investigate dishwasher and confirm that the seals are leaking.
23. Dishwasher too old to repair.
24. Sit in my filthy kitchen and contemplate my life.
I sat there for a while. I had a little ice cream and sat in the sun. I spent a little time in denial, because denial can be a nice place to visit.
Finally I went back in the house and gave David the task of finding a new dishwasher. He tried to volley it back to me and so finally, we picked one together. Once the dishwasher was settled I began the miserable task of pulling wet junk out of the basement. There is nothing like a wet basement to inspire me to get rid of everything I own.
After I was done in the basement I cleaned the cat footprints from the stairs and floors, washed the kitchen floor of grime and horror and had a nice long bath.
My house is cleanish, the basement is dryish and my checkbook is empty.