Wedding!

Well, hello there everyone!

I imagine you are all breathlessly waiting to find out just where the heck I have been for the last week. If you were my Facebook friend, you'd know. (Friend me with that handy little button up at the top of the page.)

On Friday I flew to Arizona for my mother's wedding. I spent the days leading up to my trip in an absolute frenzy of anxiety. I worried about plane crashes, my luggage, renting a car by myself, driving through the deserts of Arizona by myself, being away from my children, being away from my dogs, the state of my checking account, the size of my butt and so much more.

4:30 Friday morning my taxi came to fetch me to take me to the airport.

I learned many things on this trip. The first being that there is no traffic in Boston at 4:30am. I arrived at the airport with plenty of time to fret my way through security. I was scanned, but not probed and it seems that in 2011 this is the most one can hope for.

The flight was uneventful. It did not crash. It is always a miracle to me when my plane does not fall out of the sky. Why doesn't it crash? How does it stay in the air? Magic. The only possible explanation.

Once I landed and got my car I made my way north to my mother's place in Prescott Valley. I did not dawdle or dwell on the scenery because I had an important job to do. I was the chief decorator and Maid of Honor. Well, I suppose Matron of Honor is more accurate since I am a married lady and all that, but really, is there a worse word than "matron"?

About a month ago I sent a box of supplies to my mother's house. The box contained eighteen yards of tulle, ceramic birds, an assortment of candles in varied sizes, ribbons, silk flowers and pearl garland. I walked in her door and got to work. Since it was a small wedding, my mother and her fiance Jack, decided to have the wedding at their home. They decided that the fireplace would be the best place to create a visual focal point and mock alter.

This is what we created.

This was so quick and easy to put together. We chose the container with the petunias and greens to provide depth and height to the arrangement.

See those ceramic birds? They were about $5 at Michael's.

We used some more flowers and greens to extend the lilac and green theme over by the cake.

The wedding was very sweet. My mother and Jack both got very teary, which caused me to get teary and make the most mediocre toast in the history of weddings.

Luckily, the happy couple did not seem to mind.

Stay tuned for Part Two of my exciting travel tale. It includes me watching Law and Order all alone in my hotel and getting my gummy bears confiscated by TSA.

In which I get mail...

Sometimes readers send me things. I love getting things in the mail. As a matter of fact, getting the mail everyday thrills me. What treasures will the mailbox hold? A glossy home magazine? A mysterious love letter?

Usually it's just bills, but sometimes it's a complete surprise.

This is what arrived in my mailbox this week. Julie sent it to me because she knows what I love. Which do I love more? Julie or chocolate? It's a very close call.

This week I was also very surprised to find a package addressed to Shiny Red Houses. There are three men who I know read my blog. My dad, my husband and Michael.

Michael is a funny guy. He has no kids. He is not married. He has fancy cats. He reads my blog and sometimes he sends me stuff. This time he sent me two books.

I adore these books. Home Comforts is a comprehensive explanation of how to clean and care for your house.

Martha's Homekeeping Handbook is astounding. She tells you how to do everything. I am spending a lot of time right now looking at her pictures of closets. I love closets. Will someone please send me a closet in the mail?

Why did Michael send me books about housekeeping? The cats told him to.

You may also be wondering where I have been this week. I am almost too embarrassed to tell you.

I have been watching Bones for hours on end, letting the filth and squalor of the house pile up while I imagine my life as an FBI agent. Or more specifically, I imagine my life with this FBI agent.

A dream boat.

Okay. Send closets or Seeley Booth. Hell, send both!

Michael uses his powers for good and more junking!

Yesterday after my rant about Levi's one of my readers, Michael, left me a comment letting me know that he might be able to help me track down my new favorite jeans. In a separate email he asked me to take some pictures of my jeans and the label and send them to him so that he could use his spidey powers to find more.

It's not every day that a strange man from the internet asks me to photograph my jeans so of course I did what every web savvy safety conscious women would do in this situation- I made sure to use a flash so that every detail was illuminated.

I sent the pictures off and Michael let me know that he'd give me some news in the morning. Readers, I wish that I received this level of service from my bank. Michael emailed me later today with sad news that my jeans are both discontinued and possibly counterfeit. What did make me smile was the subject line of that sad email, "There's always chocolate". He understands me so well.

Michael thank you so much for the great effort you put forth in my search for the greatest jeans of my life. It was very sweet and the next time you need someone to track down some junk, I'm your girl!

Michael also asked what David thought of me taking pictures of my jeans to send to a strange man. Well, David is in LA right now schmoozing and hob-nobbing, but I can assure you that after you've seen your wife spend 16 hours painting fake bricks on a driveway during a heat wave, nothing is particularly shocking.

Today my pal Heather wanted to do something completely insane. She wanted us to take her two kids and my two kids to the junk store for some back to school shopping. Mostly the kids were really good and even ate Indian food for lunch with us afterwards.

I have to take a moment to say that the biggest score of the day was Heather's. Just as we were getting ready to leave she spotted it: The coat of her dreams. It's camel colored and has these amazing fringy fluffery collar and cuffs. The most amazing thing is that it fit her perfectly. Heather is six feet tall and to say that she is stacked would be understatement. Finding things that fit that perfectly is rare. She was positively giddy and I bet that she sleeps with it tucked under her pillow tonight.

A huge part of my haul was clothes for the kids and a coat and a few dresses for me. I did find a few good pieces of junk though.



This strawberry printed carry-all will be great for holding towels or magazines. Maybe I'll use it to stockpile my chocolate in.


I heart traincases, especially red ones. This one might end up holding craft paint.


I lurve this color green. It's so perky and optomistic.


Fancy water bowl for the dogs when they are in David's office. If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times, it's important to be pretty.


Red jewelery boxes always come in handy.


And what is this? What are those horrible green things that Lily picked out at the junk store which now lay on her bed next to her Disney princess walkie talkies?


Yup. Incredible Hulk boxing gloves.


I blame TJIC for this one.