Tonight I was outside in the dark waiting for the dogs to pee. It takes a while because they need to sniff every blade of grass in the yard first.
While outside I looked up at Rebecca's lit window and saw Rebecca and Lily together laughing.
Here's the thing about my kids right now. They are perfect.
There are no more diapers. They sleep through the night and even better, do not wake me up on the weekends. We like a lot of the same books and movies. They still love to snuggle. They play with dolls. They are too young for boys.
As near as I can tell, the ages of seven and ten are perfect.
I am trying to hold onto these moments because I know how good it is and how fleeting it is.
In ten years Rebecca will be grown and Lily won't be far behind.
There won't be small children clamoring into my bed in ten years. They won't be crawling into my lap or making fart jokes.
What will I do when they are grown? When the house in quiet? When I don't trip over their toys?
I know I won't have regrets. I will not regret one moment that I spent holding those people, smelling their skin, feeding them and laughing with them.
When I am an old woman, it is these memories, the picture of them in a window laughing, the sounds of them conspiring, the sweet smell of them, which will carry me from this world to the next.