Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Choosing...

When David and I first married is was part of a very perfect romance. We met, fell madly in love, ran away to Maine together and began our new life.

We had no idea how young we were, just as I suppose we have no idea how young we are now. I do know that in the early days of our marriage our worries were fairly one dimensional.

Would we have ever have enough money to buy a house?

When should we have children?

As time went on some of our struggles became more nuanced. Trouble with the business, a friend suddenly dropping us, illnesses and fears for our children. There have been heartbreaks along this road and through it all David and I have emerged, hands clasped.

The part of this experience which surprised me the most is how much better and stronger each heartbreak has made us. Not only that, but the opportunities that each of us has had over the years to lift each other up and carry the load has added a layer of texture to this marriage which I never anticipated.

It makes the victories sweeter, but more importantly, the choosing to support each other again and again adds another knot in the rope that binds our marriage. I can look back at our life together and see the crossroads where we might have chosen to fight or dig in our heels and I can see how differently this story might have gone.

So this is what I have learned about marriage. It's love, it's luck and it's choosing to write your happy ending. It's choosing to take the path of the happy marriage and to hold on tight when things get dark. Hold on tight until you reach the light.

13 comments:

mgster said...

Beautifully, beautifully written! After 35 years of marriage, myself, I can agree totally. I have three children and all have chosen wonderful mates (one is married, one engaged and the other one in a serious relationship). My wish is that when the heartbreaks come along...and they always do...that they will get through it all together.

Sara, why do I always feel a little better after reading your blog? Thanks for that! :)

Julie said...

You forgot to pick up the dry cleaning, didn't you?

My husband and I regularly say to each other, "you know how easily that could have been us?"

You're teaching your girls that happily ever after does exist. :)

Valley Girl said...

Amen Sista!!!!

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