You know how sometimes you pop over to Shiny Red Houses hoping to get a glimpse of some good junk or maybe some poignant insight into life and love?
There is none of that here today people. Today there is nothing more than a boat load of crazy time.
Remember that virus I had last week which made me really achy? And then Lily got it and she was really achy? Well now Rebecca has it and it has led to a complete family breakdown of anything resembling normal.
Since Rebecca is sick she is getting extra attention and privileges, like being allowed to watch sixteen hours of crappy cartoons in her bed.
Lily does not like this. She prefers to be the center of the universe and does not appreciate being shuttled to the side like some sibling. I tried to placate her with cheeseburgers for dinner last night, cheeseburgers for breakfast and cheeseburgers for lunch, but that is just not the same as having the planets revolve around your squishy little butt.
This morning we woke to rain, a steady cold rain in which I had no interest in walking with the dogs. Feeling extra guilty for not taking a proper walk, I tried to do my Wii fit workout but my foot keeps breaking and then healing and then breaking again. It's possible that it is just strained, but really, it might as well be broken. I did the chicken arm flapping exercise to try to get some work out, but really, the fact that there is no chicken flapping event in the Olympics should tell you how effective it is for getting in shape.
After my non work out I tossed Lily another cheeseburger, took a shower and tried to resist crawling back into bed.
I managed to teach Lily, but by 11:00 we succumbed to the pull of the bed, dressed like hobos and watched Little House on the Prairie for three hours. For a while I took a break and laid in front of the fire, but that is even more hobo like than lying in bed, which I have always felt has more of a wino connotation.
Every once in a while I'd get out of bed, make another cheeseburger for Lily and some broth for Rebecca and then return to bed, waiting for my online Scrabble opponents to take their turns already. Since they have actual jobs it took forever for them to play and about this I was deeply annoyed.
Then on hour 3 3/4 of Little House on the Prairie, Sophie showed up with poop breath.
That's been my day today. One child moaning in pain, the other whining from injustice and me aggravated that I keep losing at Scrabble while playing games that are taking too long, followed by trying to avoid being licked by a dog who eats poop.
We have all gone mad. Send chocolate.