Monday, August 2, 2010

Day Two of Paint: A Journey into Madness

8:00am Monday morning:

Wake up. Open Eyes. See the glow of Port o Potty on my walls. Squeeze eyes shut. Open them again.  Realize that I have not come to love Sweet Rhapsody. Curse bitterly.

8:10am Monday morning:

Coffee, breakfast and 157 emails from readers saying, "Told you so!" Contemplate angry responses. Resolve not to alienate readers.

9:00am Monday morning:

Drop Lily of at camp and make my way to Home Depot. Choose samples of colors to try at home. Feel optimistic.

10:30am Monday Morning:

Put swatches of colors on wall. They look like gray, silver, and barf. I am a color failure. Contemplate commiting color hari kari.

11:00am Monday Morning:

Arrive at Benjamin Moore paint store for more swatches and samples. Decide to pick up some red samples because really, what have I got to lose?

11:25am Monday Morning:

Stop at Amy's house where she tries to stage an intervention when I show her my red samples.

Amy: "Do not do this."
Me: "But red could be the answer to all my-"
Amy: "Stop. Do. Not. Paint. Your. Room. Red."
Me: Sniff dejectedly
Amy: "Take a break from the paint for now."
Me: "But!"
Amy: Stern look
Me: "Fine," I lie.

12:30pm Monday afternoon:

Try to calm myself by listening to Waterloo Sunset 300 times. Paint new swatches. Realize that red would not be a Good Idea. Curse Amy silently.

12:45pm Monday afternoon:

Paint a swatch of a Forget Me Not by Benjamin Moore that Amy had leftover from her house and which I dismissed out of hand last week for being too pale. Look at it. Fall in love.

1:00pm Monday afternoon:

Resist going to the paint store for a can  Forget Me Not. Instead watch for any latent Port O Potty tendencies which may lurk in Forget Me Not. Study it carefully. All seems well.

Continue to be suspicious of my new love of Forget Me Not.

Must. Not. Rebound.

1:30pm Monday afternoon:

Stop watching Forget Me Not so that I might focus on the squalor of my house.

2:10pm Monday afternoon:

For about ten minutes Sweet Rhapsody is not horrible. Then the light changes and I cringe anew.

3:00pm Monday afternoon:

Instant message to Amy: "Is Forget Me Not too minty?"

Instant message from Amy: "Shut the #$#% up! It's not minty at all!"

3:10pm Monday afternoon:

Am distracted by googling boil treatments for Amy a friend.

Lose track of time and forget to study Forget Me Not.

7:20pm Monday evening:

Forget Me Not seems lovely still and all of the other colors look like zombie vomit.

7:30pm Monday night:

Ice cream for dinner to be followed by almost certain nightmares of zombies wielding paint brushes.


Amy. said...

Zombie Vomit!! Port-o-Potty! Nicotine-Stained Teeth! You obviously have a latent talent for naming colors. (Ooh look, "latent" and "talent" are anagrams! Will Shortz would love that).

I am happy to know that my gentle intervention+swearing helped. Even happier that you have found The Color, though at this point I am waiting for the pictures ON THE BLOG before I relax. I do think it will look lovely.

Gumbo Lily said...

Oh no. I thought I was coming here for decorating tips.

I've made my paint mistakes. Those are sins easily covered.


Left-Handed Housewife said...

Oh, curse the changing light! I have an upstairs hallway that I painted the most gentle of yellowy peaches, a mere hint of yellow, hint of peach. So how come most hours of the day it looks mango? A delightful mango, mind you, but not what I'd had in mind, and really, a little over the top.

Can't wait to see how the Forget-Me-Not turns out. Keep the faith, baby!


Sonu said...

I laughed, I comiserated, I enjoyed your journey-- thanks for sharing it. Forget Me Not has a way of being a bit, well, tenacious and leaves you wanting more. I'm glad to know you found a great color you love. Now, make sure you use a low voc/highly durable paint that will live on as long as your love affair with the color continues (i.e. Aura from BM)

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