Wake up. Open Eyes. See the glow of Port o Potty on my walls. Squeeze eyes shut. Open them again. Realize that I have not come to love Sweet Rhapsody. Curse bitterly.
8:10am Monday morning:
Coffee, breakfast and 157 emails from readers saying, "Told you so!" Contemplate angry responses. Resolve not to alienate readers.
9:00am Monday morning:
Drop Lily of at camp and make my way to Home Depot. Choose samples of colors to try at home. Feel optimistic.
10:30am Monday Morning:
Put swatches of colors on wall. They look like gray, silver, and barf. I am a color failure. Contemplate commiting color hari kari.
11:00am Monday Morning:
Arrive at Benjamin Moore paint store for more swatches and samples. Decide to pick up some red samples because really, what have I got to lose?
11:25am Monday Morning:
Stop at Amy's house where she tries to stage an intervention when I show her my red samples.
Amy: "Do not do this."
Me: "But red could be the answer to all my-"
Amy: "Stop. Do. Not. Paint. Your. Room. Red."
Me: Sniff dejectedly
Amy: "Take a break from the paint for now."
Amy: Stern look
Me: "Fine," I lie.
12:30pm Monday afternoon:
Try to calm myself by listening to Waterloo Sunset 300 times. Paint new swatches. Realize that red would not be a Good Idea. Curse Amy silently.
12:45pm Monday afternoon:
Paint a swatch of a Forget Me Not by Benjamin Moore that Amy had leftover from her house and which I dismissed out of hand last week for being too pale. Look at it. Fall in love.
1:00pm Monday afternoon:
Resist going to the paint store for a can Forget Me Not. Instead watch for any latent Port O Potty tendencies which may lurk in Forget Me Not. Study it carefully. All seems well.
Continue to be suspicious of my new love of Forget Me Not.
Must. Not. Rebound.
1:30pm Monday afternoon:
Stop watching Forget Me Not so that I might focus on the squalor of my house.
2:10pm Monday afternoon:
For about ten minutes Sweet Rhapsody is not horrible. Then the light changes and I cringe anew.
3:00pm Monday afternoon:
Instant message to Amy: "Is Forget Me Not too minty?"
Instant message from Amy: "Shut the #$#% up! It's not minty at all!"
3:10pm Monday afternoon:
Am distracted by googling boil treatments for
Lose track of time and forget to study Forget Me Not.
7:20pm Monday evening:
Forget Me Not seems lovely still and all of the other colors look like zombie vomit.
7:30pm Monday night:
Ice cream for dinner to be followed by almost certain nightmares of zombies wielding paint brushes.