Wednesday, August 25, 2010

An important household dilemma...

I have a very dear friend Amy who I shall not name in the interest of privacy.

This friend had a situation arise in her house today.

One of her cats dragged a half dead bird into the house and deposited it at her feet on a rug.

Now, you know that my experience with birds is mostly related to the variety who like to wedge themselves into the bathroom exhaust vent and die whenever my husband has gone of of town.

Luckily, this does not prevent me from having an opinion on the proper handling of birds who are only half dead and not yet brimming with maggots and rot. 

My solution would be to scoop up the bird and pop him in the freezer for a bit. He would get cold, then sleepy and then die whilst dreaming of being in my exhaust vent. Once he is frozen and all the way dead he can be tossed into the trash or given a proper burial depending upon your level of avian devotion.

Amy chose a different route, which I will not share, though perhaps she will in the comments.

My question dear readers, is how do you handle nearly dead animals in your home?

9 comments:

Sullygirl said...

I prefer to cry and let the dogs lick my face prior to sending them over to kill whatever the cat half killed...I LOVE DOGS!!!

Left-Handed Housewife said...

Gosh, this is a question for the ages, isn't it? I have to admit we've not had any half-dead animals in the house as of yet, but I have a feeling that Travis the Killer Cockapoo would eat anything not moving at a good clip. Ick.

xfrances

amy. said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
amy said...

OK. Here is the story. I went through the classic 7 stages of dealing-with-a-half-dead animal. Stage 1: Panic. All three of us alternately stared in horror and walked away, shaking our hands at the bottoms of our lifted arms, and uttering things like, "ack! ack! ack!". Stage 2: Bargaining. Maybe my husband would walk in the door right now and I wouldn't have to deal with it. Stage 3: Dread. Realizing I am the grown-up, and I have to deal with this. The bird is suffering, clearly not going to pull through, and seems to me to need a swift and thorough solution. Stage 4: Teaching. Explaining to the children that I am going to have to kill the bird. Stage 5: Parental misgivings. Wishing my children were a little more dismayed at this news. Stage 6: Just doing it already. Rolling the bird up in the rug and crushing it quickly but firmly with a shoe, while uttering more "ack ack ack acks". Stage 7: Having a stiff drink.

I'm sorry my cat is a murderer, birdie. I am almost more sorry for you than I am for me.

But at least you are not at Sara's house, dying a slow, cold death in the freezer...

Karen said...

We had a mouse half-caught in a trap once, and it was clattering around in the broom closet all day until Andy came home. That's what I do with half-dead animals: Wait for Andy to come home.

Meanwhile, we found a dead baby mouse in the toilet yesterday, and I forbade Andy to flush it, although that would obviously be the easiest solution. We've had too many sewer backups from errant tampons and such.

Cheryl said...

Aren't there any veteranarians or wildlife sanctuaries down there? They could have given you the answer to the kindest, most avian-friendly way to help this little bugger find its way to bird nirvana.

I'm going to be in grief counseling fahevah. Sigh.

Tracy said...

I have done the wait-til-hubby-gets-home with mice caught in traps.

And I have yet another reason now (not that I needed more!), as to why we don't have pets. No one and nothing ever brings half dead things into my house, or my backyard.

sharonhofmann said...

We do the exact same thing with our aquarium fish that are dying. Some are way too big for flushing even when they do die. None of it is pleasant, but it seems like the most humane option.

Gumbo Lily said...

Feed it to the cats.

Jody