Thursday, July 15, 2010

Cooking the bird...

Here it is Thursday night and sadly, I am not able to inform you that the bird carcass has been removed. Our handyman friend is off being handy elsewhere and so we were forced to take matters into our own hands. Since we are lacking a tall ladder, the right tools and an even rudimentary knowledge of bathroom exhaust vent installation, we opted for the liberal arts major solution to a dead bird stuck in a vent:

We ran the exhaust and the heater simultaneously for 24 hours straight.

People, it worked! It cooked that bird and any flies to smithereens. There is no longer the stench of avian death and the flies have gone off in search of new dead baby birds elsewhere.

Happiness had returned to our home, or at least I thought it had.

This morning my newish Keurig coffee maker stopped working. Those of you who pity me read this blog, may remember the demise of my first Keurig coffee maker back in November. I made mistakes in the way I handled that repair. I can see that now. This time I did something radical.

I picked up the phone and called the company.

I'm not sure if I've ever really expressed my aversion to the phone. I hate talking on the phone. How strong is the aversion? If Amy isn't logged into IChat so that we can instant message, I will call her and tell her to log on so that we can text.

My parents are cracking up right now, because there was a time when I spent sixteen hours a day on the phone with my friends discussing absolutely nothing. I am older now and the old lady me hates to use the phone.

Anyway, in spite of this hatred, I called Keurig and explained my problem.

"Have you descaled the brewer recently?" Miss Keurig Lady asked.

"Um, I have no idea what that means." I replied.

Then she went on to explain water hardness and mineral deposits and the space time continuum and honestly I zoned out a bit until she got to the part about vinegar.


Did you guys know that vinegar is the solution to everything?

Need to wash your windows? Use vinegar!

Out of fabric softener? Use vinegar!

Raging case of thrush? Use vinegar!

Vinegar is the cure to everything apparently and even though I thought that the Keurig lady was playing a mean girl trick on me when she told me to run twenty ounces of white vinegar through my brewer, I listened and then tried it.

It worked. Completely. Perfectly.

I was happy.


A pantry moth flew out of a cabinet and an earwig made its way across the floor.

I cried and then I ate some chocolate. Then I gathered up my children, loaded them into my damaged minivan and drove away from my house, grateful for the soothing balm of chocolate and coffee and silently cursing Mother Nature and her hateful soldiers of death and infestation.


Cheryl said...

Oh sweetie, that's a day from hell if I ever heard one. My heart goes out to you. Have you tried drinking apple cider vinegar? It's good for what ails you.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry. Yesterday, I had a long day at work as well. I also snuck a piece of chocolate in the kitchen. As I was reading to my 6 year old daughter at bedtime, she sniffed my breath and said, " Mom, you smell good." She snuggled in closer. At least, we are not moms who drink! Hang in there. xoxoxox Mari

GretchenJoanna said...

You are so funny! I love vinegar for everything, too, and have the impulse to buy a 2-gallon case of the stuff nearly every Costco visit for fear of running out.

So glad you got your coffee maker working...I'll still feel better when the cooked carcass is removed.

Julie said...

And apple cider vinegar can be used as a hair conditioner. Look up a recipe before you try it though. And maybe you wouldn't have gotten out of the house today if all that hadn't happened and met a Sni-purrrrrr...heehee

Pom Pom said...

My Keurig squeaks a bit. I guess it's time for some vinegar. I put a candle jar on an earwig that appeared on the living room floor and it is still there. They ARE scary.

Lisa said...

Almost a good day!!! Glad the vinegar worked!
Hugs, Lisa

Ginger said...

Hi Sara:
You've changed your blog since I was here last. Looks great.
I am still on my first Keurig but it is an older one and makes lots of noise when the water is being pumped into wherever it goes to heat up. My kids have the newer one that is so quiet. So I am waiting for it to break so I can buy a new one, lol. Mine is like the energizer bunny, it just keeps going. I use bottled water in mine and I've never had to descale it. But I have the vinegar on stand by when it needs it.
Did you know vinegar works for heartburn too? You would think it would make it worse, but it doesn't.