Monday, July 27, 2009

How my husband failed me or Why I had to go junking on a Monday...

I first noticed the smell yesterday.

I didn't mention it to you guys because I was hoping it would go away on its own.

The smell was in the downstairs bathroom, the roof of the very bathroom which recently had an air conditioner dropped on it. In addition to being a landing strip for wayward air conditioners, this roof also has an exhaust vent which has become the home to a family of birds.

The birds have been nesting there every year and each year we think, "We should do something about that", but then inertia and our somewhat hippy tendencies would get the better of us and before you know it we hear the sweet chirping of baby birdies. Ah, nature! So pure and beautiful, we love its dulcet strains.

So when I smelled the bad smell, the dare I say rotting smell, I had a very bad feeling about what had happened in the exhaust vent.

First, I removed the light fixture. Nothing there...but the smell was worse.

I went upstairs for a while to pretend I did not have a dead bird somewhere in my bathroom.

It was not effective.

Back down I went, with my favorite phillips head screwdriver in hand and carefully removed the housing from the vent.

And there it was. A dead rotting bird jammed between the wall and the vent.

I immediately called David.

"You have to come home right now." I tried to speak calmly.

"What's the matter? Are you okay?" He asked.

"There's a dead bird in the bathroom and you need to come home and get it out!" I said.

"Well, I would come home, but I'm 3000 miles away, so I think you're on your own with this one" he said.

"You don't understand. You. Have. To. Come. Home. Now." I stated.

Readers, that man laughed at me! So while he is in Los Angeles, CA enjoying fancy lunches and promoting his new business, I had to remove the dead bird from the vent.

I used a dog poop bag and pulled it out. I was terrified that there would be maggots. Maggots would have sent me straight to Mclean's.

There were no maggots, though there were lots of stinky feathers which I cleaned up.

Once that was over I washed my hands about 100 times and contemplated just burning the house down in order to erase the memory from my mind.

Instead, I made a cup of coffee and went to Global Thrift because that's what big girls do when faced with dead rotting birds.

Global Thrift is a gritty Good Will type store in Waltham, MA. All I can say is that the junk store gods must have seen me suffering with that bird carcass because the haul from the thrift store was epic.

Check it out!

I've been looking for an old Radio Flyer wagon for years! I want to put flowers in it, though mark my words, Lily will take possession of that in seconds once she gets home. The wagon was 5.99!

I actually gasped out loud when I saw the old turquoise Coleman cooler. I love old coolers and the color! I just adore it! Also 5.99.

What is that shiny black thing? I have no idea, but I plan to put umbrella's in it...or maybe sunflowers.

Chippy red striped lamp 3.99, Scotch Jug Thermos 3.99 and jadite mug .99!

I can't wait to play with this house!

It's a facade and I'm going to redecorate it.

It would be more authentic with a dead bird jammed somewhere...

Speaking of the dead bird...

Let's just have a moment of silence and a collective cursing out of David for forcing me to deal with this on my own.

Thank you.

I will be eating chocolate now.


Sullygirl2001 said...

LMAO...this sounds like a day in the life of ME!!! Last year I had this HORRIFIC smell in my bathroom and had hoped it would go away, but sadly didn't. As the days passed it started to make me physically ill to the point where I called Ryan at work and told him it had to be taken care of which I was told it would have to wait until the weekend...UGH. So the weekend comes and he starts to pick away at my wall and nothing...before you know it my father is here too and my bathroom is down to studs and behind the last piece od wall left is s nest of dead mice! Apparently my loving husband decided it was better to poisen the mice then to snap thier little they brought the killing pellets back to the nest and fed them to the WHOLE family and they died in the wall! I can still smell it!!!
I LOVE THE RADIO FLYER WAGON...and have been looking for a authentic one myself for gardening. I can't bring myself to buy one of those new fangeled ones for $100...I want a REAL one!!! Great finds, hope the new house gets painted Sara will look really great with the holiday garland!

mgster said...

LOL! I don't mean to laugh...I really don't. First of all...poor birdie! How he, or she, must have suffered. But, it's over. And second, I would have bet anything that "Mclean's" was a neighborhood bar! :)
Nice haul of goodies...that cooler alone was the bargain of the decade! And since you were such a big girl, you deserved the chocolate.

Saguaro Chick said...

Oh......Dear......God......In......Heaven.... we have had birds in our bathroom vent as well in the last two years. If I smell something funky I will be calling upon your services.... I will provide the chocolate, a trip to the local thrift store.....and I will even throw in a drive to see your mom......


Sara Padrusch said...


Please email your actual email address, 'cause really? You had a memere and pepere too????

So cool!


David W. Padrusch said...

I think I know what to bring you home from my trip-- a chocolate bird. Ewwwwwwww. Great job slaying that dragon baby-- sorry I failed you!!! :-)

Radio Flyer rocks!!!

b said...

Ewwwwwwwwwwwww....never know what to expect when I read your posts...all I can say is you are soooooo brave to get that thing out yourself....don't think I could have done it myself. You rock!

Angela said...

Sara - so great to discover your blog, and so funny to find someone so close (I'm in Arlington) by surfing the web. I will have to check out the thrift shop. I am wildly impressed at how you dealt with the bird - I can't deal with ants (see my blog for details). Will check in frequently!

Ginger said...

Okay, this post is hilarious, Sara. And David, you better bring home more than a chocolate bird, lol. Eeeww or however you spelll gross. You are so brave.
I'm glad you made out so good at the thrift store. I keep saying you find the best things, and the prices are unreal. We never ever have anything good at our thrift stores. They put old beanie babies behind the glass doors on shelves because they think they are so valuable. lol.
I really love that radio would look so cute next to my potting shed. And the old icechest, is really cool. You don't find those old metal ones around much anymore.
Do you still get to go junking Friday too?

Anonymous said...

Oh. MY. Gosh.

Just when I think you can't get *any* funnier...

Not that removing dead birds from your exhaust is funny. Like dropping an air conditioner out of the window.

I forgot I wasn't supposed to laugh at that either. So sorry you had to deal with that on your own, but look at the good luck it brought you.

LOVE the wagon - and a turquoise cooler? Never knew there was such a thing...I want one!


Lisa said...

Glad you had a good time junking
enjoy your chocolate
Hugs, Lisa

Pom Pom said...

What fantastic finds! David is VERY cute and funny, commenting on your hilarious post! I just found your blog through Left-Handed Housewife (she's so funny, too!) I got the creeps just reading about your nasty clean up, but way to go! I'm definitely coming back to this well-written blog!

~~Carol~~ said...

Nothing like a little retail therapy to wash away the memory (and smell) of a bad experience! Very envious of the blue cooler!! I passed up one of those thermoses last week. It was only $2, but I'm starting to feel like the theme from Sanford & Son plays every time I open the door! I have too much stuff!