At our house this manifests itself with the children not noticing ailments until about 5:05pm, just after the pediatrician has closed for the day.
Once the big hand goes past 5, the floodgates of pain surge open, flooding the house with crying, wailing, gnashing and whining. Offers of motrin are never enough to quell the beast.
For some reason only volume brings relief to these people, who have yet to learn to suffer quietly and with dignity. They get it from their father.
Last night Rebecca announced that her ear hurt and so the misery began. The misery was accompanied by fretful wails that she mustn't miss camp! Wednesday is yarn doll day and to miss such a thing is too heartbreaking to fathom. Finally she agreed that her ear needed treatment and so today Lily went to dance camp and Rebecca went to the doctor.
The doctor confirmed my suspicions. Rebecca has swimmers ear. Readers, in spite of what you may have heard had you been eavesdropping last night, Rebecca will live.
Discovering that Rebecca would not be succumbing to her disease made me feel bold and so when the doctor asked which pharmacy to send the prescription to I held my head up high and said, "Target".
I have mentioned on this blog how bizarre it is to me to get prescriptions filled at Target, but I cannot deny that I enjoy having the excuse to wander the aisles of Target in search of treasures. Target even has bananas now. Bananas!!!! I am still reeling from this discovery.
After Target Rebecca and I came home and I put the drops in her ear, provoking another round of loud protests.
Summer is tough for the neighbors on our street. All of our discord floats into their open windows. Even as I type this Lily is screeching at Rebecca because she is doing a puzzle wrong. When I remind Lily that the entire neighborhood can hear her she responds, "Close the windows!"
Rebecca's not the only one afflicted in our house.
For David's last birthday I bought him a skateboard. Such a cool wife I am.
You know who was not so cool? David as he tried to do an ollie this week and landed on his hip. I was going to show you the bruise, but I can't. It's just too gross.
David loves this bruise. He denies it, but people, he thinks it gives him street cred.
Bless his sweet middle aged heart.
The other day I walked into Rebecca's room and found this.
This is Jess. She is suffering from an eyelash injury. It requires painters tape apparently. Notice the embroidery thread IV? I love that part.
The attention to detail just about kills me.
We take affliction seriously around here. To my neighbors- it'll be ear drop time at 8pm. You might want to close your windows...
11 comments:
Oh this post is the best!!! Sorry for your neighbors, Glad Rebecca will live. And Jess is in good hands I see!! The little minds at work are the best! OH Glad your hubby got his first "badge"!!
Hugs, Lisa
I found my skateboard from my youth which was some 30 odd years ago. I put one foot on the board and began to bring my weight to bear and realized that age has brought me wisdom and put the board back where I found it.
When I remind Lily that the entire neighborhood can hear her she responds, "Close the windows!"
That girl sure sounds to have a sharp wit. The boys better watch out.
Oh geez! You and your family are a riot! I mean that in the nicest way. I can actually picture you looking at those bananas in Target while waiting for your meds. Thanks for making me laugh. And I hope Jess will regain full vision in that one bad eye. You may have to close the windows again when that painter's tape comes off! OUCH! :)
The eyepatch and IV are SO cool. I think you have a future nurse in the family.
My people are the same way about eardrops and eyedrops. You'd think I was using battery acid the way they carry on.
Thanks for making me smile today!
There's a name in the DSM-IV for what's going on at your house (besides hysterically funny) - Histrionic Personality Disorder. Since I joined FB, I've been catching up on your blogs and I swear, as nuts as your mother is, she's a piker compared to you guys - that's a high compliment indeed! Keep on blogging - I get such a kick out of being a voyeur and love the pictures.
Love, Cheryl
rb25@comcast.net
This is hysterical.... I'm sure that the two cupcakes will certainly give Jess the nutrition her eyelashes need to regrow to their fullest!
Sara, I am so sorry for the ear ache, but your writing is so entertaining to read, and makes me smile. thanks for sharing your life with us.
Jean in Virginia
First of all, since when the hell is 38 middle aged?!?!? And secondly, do you not remember how brave I was... how strong I was... how incredible I was through childbirth without drugs? Oh wait, that was you. :-) Moo moo. XOXO
David, I think you must have realize something had changed when a younger person is at your front door and says "excuse me sir" and you look over your shoulder and no one else is in the house. You're 38. A skateboard? Maybe Sara bought the skateboard hoping to avoid the motorcycle or sport car phase.
You have two girls. I'm sure you have wondered how to pay for college and weddings and still retire while walking upright. I guess you can enjoy the denial of "but I'm just 30 something", but the hands of time move forward. And it's not that bad. No one is talking twilight yet.
Loved the Bible Battles. There are so many interesting ways to look at the good book.
Michael
You are too funny...I am just cracking up here. I can relate though, I remember the swimmer's earaches with my kids. One doctor told me to put alcohol in their ears after they get out of the water and it prevents the earaches. Guess it makes the water evaporate.
There is something about illness and injuries that always happen after 5 pm when the doctor's office closes. My granddaughter got a bladder infection on Saturday afternoon before they were leaving on their week long cruise. Off to urgent care she went, and luckily got a prescription filled before the drugstore closed.
Hope your hubby has healed.
hahaha too funny!
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