I dropped the air conditioning unit out the window.
I have been imagining this moment for about eight years, since our first summer in this house. Our house has two floors and there is a lot of air between where the air conditioner unit is perched in the window and the unforgiving ground.
The worst part? I dropped the unit out of the window about five minutes after I had boasted to David that I always install the units all by myself, every year.
Sometimes karma is a little too swift and literal.
I dragged the air conditioner out of the very hot attic, lugged it into Rebecca's room and got ready to install it. The window was opened and in went the unit. Just need to adjust it a little bit...
And then it happened. It slipped out of my grip and crashed onto the roof of the downstairs bathroom. I held onto it by the cord. David, hearing the crash, poked his head out of the downstairs door, looked up at the air conditioner dangling over his head and swore.
He swore loudly, actually.
Together we pulled the unit back into Rebecca's room.
Well, what was left of the unit.
Several pieces were on the driveway and one piece was still on the roof. I probably would have left it there, sort of like a scarlet letter. "Here lives a boastful woman who dropped an air conditioner out her window." I guess David wanted to spare me the shame so he reached out there with Lily's lizard mouth grabbing toy and rescued the last piece.
Then I got my keys and my purse and went to the hardware store where I purchased a new air conditioner and then installed it without incident.
That last bit wasn't too boastful was it?