Relief...

We started school this week. Last year when we decided to homeschool it was a rather sudden decision and we ended up making it up as we went along.

This year is different because I was able to plan ahead and work on striking the right balance between time at home and time spent participating in activities.

I'll be honest with you. I was more than a little nervous about how this year was going to go for my big girl. This summer so many of her friends were busy in camp and didn't have much time to get together. I think she was a little lonely. Then she talked to some of her friends who had started middle school last week and who were excited about their new school. She got a little weepy. She missed her friends.  What if it was all a big mistake?

Monday started off with a bang when I got the time wrong for her ballet class and dropped her off just as the class was ending. (Fail.)  Happily, I was able to redeem myself by dropping her off at her video production class on time. (Win!)

Yesterday featured her first Girl Scouts meeting and field trip which she loved. So many big girls! No little sisters and their talking teddy bears! Win! Win! Win!

Today featured a park playgroup that included a kickball game full of big kids that went on for hours. Hours! If you have ever witnessed children at recess trying to play kickball only to have it end after ten minutes because it's time to go inside then you know the deliriousness that this game represented. And there were new friends from Girl Scouts there! Win!Win! Win!

Then, after lunch we went to another park playgroup and people- the fun continued! More Girl Scouts friends! Warrior Kitty play! Little sister too busy being chased by boys to interfere! Win! Win! Win!

On the way home Rebecca told me that it had been the best day of her life so far and that is when I started to get weepy.

I've written before about the powerful feeling of parental relief.  Worry about your child gnaws at you, steals into your gut and settles itself in for a long stay.  My worry about Rebecca had become a near constant companion. I knew that homeschooling was a good fit for her academically and even socially, but I could not help but fret about her. Would she find her place in the homeschooling world? Would she find people to talk to and laugh with?

When she told me how happy she was today and how excited she is for this year, a wave of relief washed over me. I could feel it physically, like a anvil had been lifted from my heart, like an unwanted visitor had finally left.

Relief is exquisite- and I hope I don't need to feel it again for a long time.