Heart Attack Canyon because that what mothers have when they take their children to this national death trap.
It's a wondrous hole all right. Majestic even. But the fact remains that the Grand Canyon is nothing more than a than a deadly siren luring children towards its edges and aging mothers as they are forced to save their children from their own idiocy again and again and again.
I pointed out signs like this to my family.
I even pointed out this book which I found in the bookstore.
Luckily, the day we visited the Grand Canyon the weather was kind of chilly so everyone was all done with the majestic hole in the ground pretty quickly. I have never been so happy to leave a scenic location in my life.
A few days later we visited a location which was only slightly more deadly than the Grand Canyon but loads more fun, because at this location I got to feed a giraffe with my mouth.
Specifically this giraffe, which when viewed up close, is undeniably strange looking. His looks are unimportant however, because he was very kind and ate the carrots which we offered to him and he allowed us to pet him.
I did spend a few moments trying to figure out how I might smuggle this baby zebra home with me.
Look, I know that a lioness would not be a very sensible new pet for our family, but just look at her.
We could lay in bed in the evenings eating cubes of raw steak and watching Law and Order reruns.
Did you know that if you are willing to hand over five dollars to the folks at Out Of Africa they will let you feed the white tiger?
Things you should know about my family:
We are not afraid of snakes.
We even kind of like them. I do not however want one as a pet. Must be clear about this. No snakes in the house.
I bet a prairie dog would make a great pet though!
After our exciting adventures and brushes with death we arrived home on Wednesday night where we gratefully fell into the arms of our dogs and into our soft and familiar beds.
What have you been doing while I was trying to smuggle animals onto planes and avoid falling into the earth? Also, if you are a regular reader and would like to friend me on Facebook, I have a nifty button at the top of the page. Press it and we'll be connected like a lioness to a fleeing antelope!