Saturday, January 2, 2010

Where, oh where, has my content gone?

Every day around here blurs into the next. I get up and walk the dogs, feed the children, exercise, do laundry, run errands, make lunch, clean up lunch, make dinner, clean up dinner, do more laundry, take a bath, put on my old lady nightgown, play some scrabble with David and go to bed. Somewhere in there I usually educate the children and occasionally buy other peoples trash.

Yesterday I asked David, "Am I boring?"

"Yes" he answered, "but you don't bore me."

I think that what he means is that while my life is very boring, I am entirely too weird to be boring.

I like to read a lot of FBI murder mystery thrillers. These books get me thinking that I might enjoy being an FBI agent. I would carry a gun and be very fit and stealthy. I would get top secret phone calls from important government people about spies and evil dictators. The phone would ring and then a helicopter would appear in my back yard. The president needs me in Washington right away for a briefing!

"You'll have to be in charge of dinner tonight, sweetie!" I would yell to David over the roar of the helicopter blades.

This is the part where the fantasy of my glamorous new life as a crime fighter falls apart because I know that I would never make it into that helicopter. Not only am I terrified of helicopters, I also know that my children would be clutching my legs, crying and begging me not to go.

"But children, the president needs me!" I'd explain.

"No, mommy! We want to be with yooooooou!" they'd cry.

My career would be ruined. No one would want to hire a former FBI agent whose children won't let go of her legs and whose husband can't find the dental floss without her.

So you see, the reason my life is so boring is because of the children. And the dogs. Not to mention the cats. And that laundry isn't just going to wash itself- believe me I've tried.

Being a housewife brings its own urgency and glamor. It's a bit like being the queen over a small but devoted tribe of lunatics who can't help but be constantly on the verge of a revolt. They present me with a daily litany of complaints, most of which are ignored. Every once in a while a petition is granted and hot cocoa is served.

Now that I think about it I quashed at least three rebellions today and granted cookies to my subjects. And I didn't even have to ride a helicopter.

It's good to be queen.


Lisa said...

I think we all have way too much excitement in our lives and need top be happy for the boring days of our lives. I sent home 3 dogs today and my house seems HUGE and empty and my 3 are still here. Believe me I tried to give anyone of them away but NO takers!! One is digging in my couch as I type. Ah the excitement!
I'm glad your family needs you!
Hugs, Lisa

Julie said...

I have finished 3 Greg Iles books. Sounds right up your alley of murder mystery. I prefer to use "kingdom" in lieu of "tribe of lunatics."

Pom Pom said...

Somehow tucked in all those ordinary days there are memories that will completely astound you in fifteen years or so. When you were making cocoa, walking the dogs, enjoying your bath, eternal words are spoken, gestures and actions are imprinted on hearts . . . you are NOT boring. Nothing has grown my character more than the long mornings sitting on the cement steps watching children hula hoop, skate, ride their bikes in circles . . . peanut butter sandwiches instead of power lunches, wrapping kids in blankets as opposed to wrapping up big accounts. The world needs more smart moms like you, Sara.

Ginger said...

Gosh if you think your life is boring, you sure don't want mine. lol
I loved the comments about getting on the helicopter, and you being afraid of one...there is an ad about helicopter school on your side post. LMAO

Anonymous said...

The grass is always greener, right? Your day sounds really nice to me and not boring at all!

Cheryl said...

I love the new header. You done good. As far as the feeb thing goes, keep dreaming (for when dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly).

Anonymous said...

As one who worked for the government and was involved in many an undercover operation I can tell you that these are in no way as exciting or thrilling as outsiders imagine. Yes, a helicopter or light plane was sent for me on several occasions too. I can only tell you that whilst I was being whisked away for a briefing/debriefing I was desperate to be back at home where I 'belonged' and many lonely nights in hotels whilst on an assignment were spent feeling homesick for the laundry, the cooking, my home, my partner. There is nothing in the world that can compensate for that sense of 'being home'.

Anonymous said...

I adore you, FBI mom or just your wacky, amazingly creative self!


Anonymous said...




[u][b]We can be found by these keywords:[/b][/u]
[url=]ruleta mesa casino [/url]
[url=]bajar juego de casino gratis [/url]
[url=]gambling and casino [/url]
[url=]casino linea seguro [/url]
[url=]grand portage grand portage lodge casino [/url]
[url=]casino online game [/url]
[url=]casino poker game [/url]
[url=]foto salsa casino venezuela [/url]
[url=]ranch casino vegas [/url]
[url=]google casino juego [/url]
[url=]online casino play for fun [/url]
[url=]mohegan sun casino resort [/url]
[url=]online casino http 2007onlinecasinos com [/url]
[url=]juego casino on [/url]
[url=]james bond casino royale [/url]
[url=]casino slot machines [/url]
juego casino portal
[b]online casino http goldeninternetcasino com[/b]
nevada casino
the mirage casino
[b]vegas mandalay bay resort casino[/b]
reno silver legacy resort casino
[u]casino monterrey[/u]
casino espa linea
casino poker rules
[b]casino latino[/b]
letra de casino en tus manos
casino guide http 365vegascasino com

Anonymous said...


[url=]buy cigarette online with an amex [/url]
order cigarettes from kentucky buy newport carton cigarettes online wholesale buy discount cigarettes
[url=]buy nat sherman cigarettes [/url]
buying cigarettes in ireland buy camel blue cigarettes order cigarettes from indian reservation
[url=]buy flavoured cigarettes [/url]
buy cigarette vending machines buy online cigarette cigarettes where to buy cigarettes in south carolina
[url=]mail order cigarettes seneca new york [/url]
buy discount cigarettes in buying discount cigarettes buying cigarettes online how to
[url=]best buy cigarette 2652 [/url]
buy some candy and cigarettes buy single packs of cigarettes how to order cigarettes online
[url=]buy more cigarettes [/url]
buy cigarettes inexpensive cheap make money ordering cigarettes online legal buy cigarettes in bulk
[url=]where to buy wave cigaretts [/url]
buy cigarettes online without id buy eu cigarettes buy cheap cigarettes from europe
[url=]buy cigarette papers online [/url]
cigarettes cheap cigarettes buy tobacco buying discount cigarettes online to buy cheap cigarette
[url=]buy 1 get 1 free cigarettes [/url]
buy cigarettes wholeesale buy cigarettes onlin where can i buy magna cigarettes
[url=]order marlboro cigarettes [/url]
order cigarettes direct buying cigarettes online in canada buy cigarettes in florida

Anonymous said...


[url=]What is/are Zovirax Tablets?[/url]
What are acyclovir tablets or capsules?
ACYCLOVIR (Zovirax®) treats unerring types of viral infections, specifically herpes infections. Acyclovir
intent not mend herpes infections; it choice remedy the sores restore faster and workers to relieve the torment or discomfort.
Every once in a while acyclovir is confirmed to helper enjoin the infection from coming back. Acyclovir also treats shingles
and chickenpox infections. Generic acyclovir tablets and capsules are available.

What should I ascertain my well-being heedfulness provider before I crook this medicine?
They need to know if you have any of these conditions:

•neurological condition
•kidney murrain
•seizures (convulsions)
•an bizarre or allergic resistance to acyclovir, ganciclovir, valacyclovir, valganciclovir, other medicines, foods, dyes, or preservatives
•significant or distressing to settle gravid


[url= ]purchase Zovirax without a prescriptionZovirax Zovirax [/url]
buy Zovirax hclbuy Zovirax online pharmacy
[url= ]buy cheap discount Zoviraxcheap online Zovirax [/url]
Zovirax online saturday deliveryZovirax overnight delivery only
[url= ]buy Zovirax without a prescriptionbuy Zovirax no prescription needed [/url]
120 Zovirax freepurchase Zovirax cod shipping
[url= ]buy cheap Zovirax prescriptions onlinecheapest Zovirax cash on delivery [/url]
Zovirax overnight delivery fed exovernight Zovirax saturday
[url= ]cod Zoviraxbuy no perscription Zovirax [/url]
order Zovirax cash on deliveryZovirax and online overnight delivery
[url= ]buy cheap prescription Zoviraxbuy drug Zovirax [/url]
buy cheap cod online Zoviraxbuy Zovirax cod
[url= ]online Zovirax fedex overnight deliverybuy cheap Zovirax cod free fedex [/url]
Zovirax online c o dZovirax c.o.d.
[url= ]cheap Zovirax online no rx saturday deliveryovernight delivery on Zovirax [/url]
cash on delivery Zovirax no rxZovirax online purchase saturday delivery
[url= ]Zovirax without prescription cash on deliverybuy cheap discount online Zovirax [/url]
cod delivery overnight ZoviraxZovirax and cod saturday delivery
[url= ]Zovirax money ordermedicine Zovirax [/url]
cheap order ZoviraxZovirax pain management

Anonymous said...


[url=]buy ecstasy cigarettes [/url]
buy more cigarettes best cigarettes to buy forums buy cigarettes online
[url=]buy all natural cigarettes online [/url]
buy cigarettes online native american buy cigarettes credit card buy cigarettes forum
[url=]to buy e cigarette in [/url]
buy used cigarette boats europe buy cigarettes from india buy cigarettes over
[url=]to buy camel cigarettes [/url]
where can i buy cigarette buy marlboro lights cigarettes order foreign cigarettes online
[url=]buy native cigarettes canada [/url]
buy players menthol 100 cigarette canada buy marlboro cigarettes online cheap buy cigarettes from virginia
[url=]buy indian reservation cigarettes [/url]
buy coloured cigarettes order cigarettes from kentucky buying cigarettes online in canada
[url=]buy all natural cigarettes online [/url]
buy discount cigarettes online buy winston cigarettes online buy japanese cigarettes