Thursday, December 17, 2009

What happened to Tommy Decker and Exhibits B and C...

So many of you wondered what became of Tommy Decker.

Since I couldn't find him on Facebook I can only assume that he is in jail.

Trust me people, he did not love me. He was awful.

Sullygirl wanted to know if the slapping incident occurred before or after the Cabbage Patch Kid doll incident.

Oh Sullygirl, the memories you stir. If any of you were alive in 1983 you remember that Cabbage Patch Kids were the doll to have. I had about twelve. Don't judge me.

Anyway, one of my favorites was a little bald boy doll and I brought him to school. I think it was seventh grade, but I could be wrong, it might have been eighth grade.

Bringing him to school was a dumb idea because there is nothing like a highly collectible and sought after baby doll to trigger the "must break" gene in twelve year old boys.

Chuck was a boy in our class who had stayed back at least sixteen times. He was huge. His voice had changed and he was menacing. He probably had his own apartment and drove a Buick. I steered clear of him whenever possible, but in a class with only fourteen kids this was not always possible.

The day I brought in my doll I might as well as put a bulls eye on him because Chuck immediately gravitated towards it, grabbed it by its feet and slammed its face against the black board.

His poor little plastic face had black board skid marks and a permanent dent.

Of course there were no nuns around to witness it and punish him appropriately.

Catholic school broke my baby.

I was chatting with my mom on the phone tonight about good old Queen of Peace. This conversation triggered a memory of the music teacher. Well, at least he was the music teacher until it was discovered that he worshiped Satan. This teacher also explained to my brother's third grade class that boys were castrated so that their voices wouldn't change and they could sing choir. My brother came home in tears terrified for his little manhood.

Catholic school and the Cabbage Patch doll. Catholic School and the Satan Worshiper.

Let's just call these Exhibits B and C.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh. Do I dare note that your anti-Catholic sermons come during Advent (not just any ordinary time of year)? Just a little thing that I noticed. It could be nothing... xoxoxox Mari

Julie said...

BOL!! That was freaking funny about the music teacher. Sounds like you went to school at Our Lady of the Dark Side. I'm sure Tommy is in an...institution of some sort. I mean what does it do to a guy to get slapped by a girl in front of the entire class? I can totally see why you homeschool.

Anonymous said...

Grist for the mill, it would seem. Just think of how little that is colorful you would have to write about if you had stayed in public school. You are sort of like a little catholic woody allen. I am so proud of you.
Love,
Mom

Pom Pom said...

That's very sad about your baby.
I wonder who the Tommy Decker is in my classes. Yikes. There might be a Chuck, too.

Valley Girl said...

Sara,
You make me smile. In times like we have here...it is WONDERFUL!!

You don't even want to know what Tommy's and Chuck's do to girls in school today....

Homeschooling my 16 yr old daughter!!

Cheryl said...

A Buick?! I keep wondering if I'm more nuts than I think I am. I seem to be the only one who gets the biggest laugh out of the non sequitur portion of your posts. And I loved the matter of fact way you announced that Tommy must be in jail since he's not on FB. You are absolutely never going to make it as a girl detective if you continue to make these leaps in logic! More's the pity.

Sullygirl2001 said...

I am so happy to read this follow up. Ironically, in high school Chuck did drive a Buick...remember how he used to corner me in the library and kiss me? He was like baby finster.
I asked Michelle, Tommy's sister, about his whereabouts but she has been allusive. Maybe he doesn't want to be found.
One last Tommy reminder, remember when he made fun of your retainer, and the next year he came in with one of his VERY own???
The memories this string has stirred...LOVE IT???

Michael said...

There is a Tommy Decker at 257 Pheasant Ave. He could have spent all these years following you, letting the rage build, waiting for the perfect moment ...

Anonymous said...

I just want to know if he has a restored Classic or Antique VW bug that he races.... - Ms. TT

Ginger said...

I think I missed a lot of "fun" by going to public school. I don't have any great memories like you have. Wait, I take that back, I have one....I was the tallest girl in the class and the teacher always partnered me up with a boy who was a little person (back in those days we said Midget, but it's not PC to call them that now) for square dancing. Square dancing???? this was the 50's in elementary school, before you were born. lol.