Remember back in January when I said that I was going to floss every day? Well internet, I have failed you.
I have not flossed in weeks.
Also, my basement? A mess again! We had a bit of flooding which meant I needed to move things about in order to dry the moisture and then just when I had everything nice and dry, a dryer sheet clogged the drain of my utility sick which meant that all of the water from the washing machine went cascading onto the floor. I'm still trying to get it dry which means running the dehumidifiers 24/7 and creating a big scary electrical bill.
Meanwhile, the attic is mocking me. A complete horror. I wish that I had one of those chutes that I could put outside the attic window leading to a dumpster. Then I could just throw stuff down the chute and out of my life forever.
My achievements of late have included playing Scrabble and reading murder mysteries and coughing. The coughing is getting better, which I feel is important to mention since my mother is hounding me to go to the doctor.
While the children were away I did clean the house and it was simply amazing to go to bed Tuesday and find that the house was still clean the next morning. Then the children came home and it seemed that the house immediately sagged, knowing that the chaos of children would reduce the tidiness to squalor by the simple virtue of them walking through the door.
This week I found myself driving at night which I rarely do. I like driving at night because it gives me an opportunity to practice using evasive maneuvers if I am being followed. Sudden right turns and speed changes are essential to losing your tail if you are being followed. I know this from reading Jonathon Kellerman and Robert Parker books. Losing tails is one of the most important pieces of staying alive in this deadly world.
I spent some time out in my workshop today and while there I checked in on the hermit crabs, who I had kind of been hoping would die already. David bought them for the children last year because he hates me, I mean he wanted to thrill the children. The children were thrilled for about an hour and then the hermit crabs had to go live in David's office because it was clear that the cats were determined to make a meal out of them and would stop at nothing short of hermit crab tartare.
Since then the hermit crabs are infrequently fed and are generally ignored, which for some reason they seem to like. They continue to live, even though my friend Jim swore that they wouldn't survive the first month. When I go to the pet store David asks me to find the crabs bigger shells but none of the stores carry bigger shells- I don't think most hermit crabs live long enough to require bigger shells. They are miracle crabs and should probably be studied by hermit crab specialists, preferably in a lab somewhere and not in the office.
Perhaps that should be my next giveaway! Win a free set of hermit crabs! I'll even throw in Rebecca's frog and snail! The kids will never notice.
Do you feel like I've rambled on enough? Me too. Good night.