Monday, August 24, 2009

The afflicted Part Two...

I think that I may have mentioned before that David is a kid at heart.

I enjoy this quality about him. It makes him fun and quirky.

Most of time.

Remember the incident with the skateboard? He likes to show me that he still has a bruise on his hip. We'll be brushing our teeth and suddenly he'll flash his hip. "See this" he says, "It still hurts!"

At least he used to show me his bruise until he got whiplash and became unable to move his head.

There was no car accident and it happened prior to the incident with the nun, so this injury was not an act of god. This injury was an act of pure David.

Readers, his whiplash was caused by a water slide.

Yes, a water slide. We look the kids to Bousquet this weekend to ride the water slides. The kids were like machines, up they went, down they came. Up, down, up, down.

And David was right there behind them, on the tube, on the mat, on his stomach, flipping on his side and then slamming into the pool of water at full speed. He was in true David form.

I went down once, got two gallons of water in my brain and announced that I'd had enough.

David kept going and everything was great until Sunday morning when he attempted to do some sit-ups. One sit-up went okay. The second sit-up brought a twinge. The third sit-up had him howling in agony.

I went into nurse mode, "Get the heating pad! Where's the motrin? Should you lay down? How about sitting up?" His mother brought in a muscle massager and I even refrained from making a vibrator joke.

After about a ten minutes it had become clear that this injury was not going away. There was only one thing to be done. I left David with my mother-in-law and the heating pad and took the kids shopping.

I took the children to Barnes and Noble where we had a leisurely browse through the stacks, a place where the greatest risk of injury is a paper cut. It was so peaceful. No screams of pain, no requests for morphine.

We returned to my in-laws, had lunch and packed the car. We began our drive. Then we swore at a nun. Then David lost his keys in his suitcase, but that my friends is a story for another day.


mgster said...

Oh, Sara, I still cannot get over the fact that you swore at a nun. Even I, with 12 years of catholic schools under my belt, never swore at a nun. Maybe I thought about it...but that's all I did. Maybe this is the real reason you have your Memere's statue in your house. So you will have the opportunity to repent for what you did. Start praying, sista!

Anonymous said...

Maybe he'll now reconsider Joe Playland.

Anonymous said...

Ooh twinges and such need ice not heat.... i hope he gets better soon!!! - ms. TT

Lisa said...

LOL!!! Sorry he was hurt but you have the greatest writing style! Thanks again for my laugh of the day.
Hugs, Lisa

Saguaro Chick said...

I'm with you. Once time down is usually enough for me. More then that just becomes "a pain" the neck for the wife..... Don't let that man near a slip-n-slide......the warnings on the box won't mean a thing to him......he'll just end up on the ER......

Ginger said...

Sometimes it's so hard growing older. The brain thinks 12, the body 40. I love your solution to the problem, grab the kids and go shopping. lol. Retain therapy cures everything, too bad David didn't go.

David W. Padrusch said...

Lurve slip 'n slides. Getting old sucks. But my brain has never been better, nor has my loving family. Especially when m wife is busting my chops. Does it get any better than this?