Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The trials of marriage...

Every marriage has its ups and downs. About some things David and I agree completely. About other things he is wrong.

Did I just say that?

What I meant to say is that about other things we have a mature discussion, use active listening and come to a mutual decision about whatever the issue is.

However, there are some topics, some issues, that are marital minefields.

The minefield of my marriage is in the basement.

To be more accurate, the minefield of my marriage is the basement.

This Sunday I was whining a bit about how overwhelming the mess in the basement is.

"It's just so bad down there." I said. "It'll take forever."

Then David did a crazy thing. He gambled.

"Would you like me to not go inline skating and instead help you in the basement?" he asked.

He was betting that I'd say no. He knows that I am very protective of my treasures down there, treasures he'd love to see on the curb. He wanted the credit for offering to help, hoping that I'd decline.

I surprised him. "Yes. I'd love for you to help me in the basement." I said, "But you can't do that thing you do."

"What thing?" He asked innocently.

"That thing where you go down there and start saying that we have to throw away all my crap!" I answered.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he lied.

Down into the basement we went.

Once down there I immediately saw the problem.

"Over there! Behind that broken chair! Your old ski boots are cluttering my basement!" I announced.

He blinked. He looked at me. He tried to find the boots. He looked at me again. "Get rid of them." He calmly replied.

Hmmmm. This was a problem. I had lobbed the boots as a grenade, to force him to clutch to something he refused to get rid of to distract him from my collection of eight-two decorative pitchers.

After seeing him chuck his old ski boots, I laid down my sword and agreed to get rid of a wobbly end table, a ripped slipcover and a broken garbage can. A huge bag of old clothes went to good will and before too long the basement, while still not lovely, was no longer in need of a bulldozer.

In the end we were both able to part with a lot of useless crap and we actually enjoyed ourselves. It's sort of funny actually. David and I have almost no interests in common. He likes to watch television. I mostly hate television. He likes to watch movies. I am loathe to commit to a movie. He likes to play sports and exercise. Not. My. Thing. The one thing that David and I have always excelled at as a couple though is having fun doing nothing.

The basement, which could have been miserable, ended up being a blast and I was reminded once again just how much I enjoy hanging out with that man. He's funny and even better, he thinks I'm funny.

I lucked out with him.

Also, don't tell him, but I didn't get rid of a single decorative pitcher.


Lisa said...

Good for you! How cool you guys just enjoy each other! You do have the best way of writing!
Hugs, Lisa

Anonymous said...

This post was awesome. Reminds me of the way my hubs and I work together. Really wonderful and hurrah at growing thru this step. :) - ms. tt

David Duford said...

But, you truly ARE funny, dear cousin!

Ginger said...

Ahhh cute post. That was sweet of him to stay home and help. Glad it turned out to be fun.

frances said...

My husband and I don't share a ton of common interests--he's a camper, I'm so much not a camper, he watches football, I'd rather die, he's a Republican, I'd rather die ... but we have a great time just hanging out. Car trips are fun because we finally have a chance to debate for the 1000th time the genius/horror that is Rush and Getty Leigh.

Good for you re: the decorative pitchers!

Bearly Sane said...

Hi Sarah ... Oh I so relate to the basement problem of yours ... I have a room off our garage that sounds just as bad. But we need to move his crap to get to my crap so I can sell my crap to make way for more of my crap that I want to move from the 3rd bedroom.
Great story...giggled all the way through.